2 of 52

Write now Article Tools

Every victim of abuse comes to a point where they think they just cannot stand it anymore. They will be torn this way and that. Part of them maybe still loves the person who is abusing them, part of them is scared of them and hates them. The World itself, breaking away and being alone, maybe moving out and starting a whole new life, is extremely scary. So many decisions and big changes all at once.

Your abuser will be confused, too. And be nasty to you one minute, vicious or verbally abusive the next. This gives you so many mixed messages that you do not know what is going on or what to believe. You will be longing to believe them when they promise to never hit you again. Yet look back to the many times they said this before, and then broke that solemn promise. Then you remember the last time they promised such things, and how earnest and convincing it sounded, how they had tears in their eyes and begged and pleaded with you, trying to convince you that somehow the two of you should be together no matter what, and it will all turn out well if you just give them one more chance. But how many more times must you give them one more chance? Has it been just once or a dozen times? You know that the more times they say it and then break the promise the less hope you have.

There will be a moment when you snap. This will be an emotional and mental feeling where you realise that this person who has done this to you will never ever make you happy, no matter what they say or promise. You now know this for a fact. You know that if you stay with them you will never have happiness, peace of mind or maybe even physical safety, with freedom from all sorts of evils and tortures. But you also know that you have been worn down. You have adjusted to thinking that this is how life is supposed to be. Brain washed into acceptance. So, can you override this? Can you cut that cord that binds you to the perpetrator and drift away from them towards better things? Or is there something inside you that says no you will always be a victim, always somehow make excuses for them and accept whatever they wish to do or say to you?

One day you will want to break away, I just hope it will be while you have the courage and the physical strength to sort things out and do it. In the meantime remember that each year that you stay with this tormentor is a year less of your life.

Learn more about this author, Carmel Brulez.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about Victims of abuse: When enough is enough?
We want to hear your view. Write now!