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Hmmm, thought provoking indeed! The first thing that comes to my mind when asked what I would eat for my last meal is Chocolate Chip Cookies. However, I don't feel deprived in my life. I eat what I want when I want including Chocolate Chip Cookies so what would be so special about that?

Upon further thought, it seems the question for me is what kind of exit would I like to make? Knowing the effect of various foods on my body, I am thinking of what impression I would like to leave for others so they can fondly, or not, think of me. If life has been rip roaring fun (which at this moment is questionable), I think a nice pot of black beans would do the trick and since I am a bit lactose intolerant, a glass of milk along the way would add nicely to the effect. In fact throw in a whole can of refried lard laden beans and light a match. I can tell God, "Hey, let me in. I was so beloved that fireworks were lit in a farewell when my demise occurred." But really, I apologize for stinking this article up. Maybe I should pass...on to the next subject I mean.

So, let's move on to other forms of exit and I do mean final departures with no return ticket. There are the laxatives in life that would really give the grim reaper's clean-up crew the finger. If I was being exterminated for some hideous crime that I didn't remember committing, purely hypothetical of course, I could ask for some wrinkly, juicy, do the number NOW, prunes. An extra flare would be chewing on an onion simultaneously and then they get the double whammy death by smell effect!

If you are tired of reading this stinky crap (pardon the pun), complain to Helium since I have to make this 400 words long. Hey, it is hard to say 400 words that equal potty, feces, poop, gas, fart, defecate, and shit and still keep a reader's attention above the age of 12..

At last, Regis, I am making this my final answer. In the end, I will ask for milky beans with prunes and onions and refried bean lard ladled on top. Yummm, I bet none of the other writers on Helium come up with this special meal! As if I should be proud, I think I am having too much time and too little fun at this moment in life so thanks for the opportunity of letting me thoroughly enjoy my last meal visioning with your patient and thoughtful (and very silent) reading.

Amen or something like that.

Learn more about this author, Lenee Daniels.
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