You get a pit in the bottom of your stomach, you feel hot and sweaty. Your heart starts racing. You feel as if your airway is tightening up and there is no way out of this deep, dark, cold grave that your hart has been thrown into. Your spouse is cheating on you. You start thinking of all the times that the conversation came up and you were convinced that the victim could not possibly ever be you. Now you are. The world is not ending, your heart is filled with formaldehyde. Although the argument is justified.
The one thing that most people lose sight of in situations like this is, that the person who has hurt you in the worst way possible is not the person you fell in love with nor the person that fell in love with you. One of the worst things that you can do at this time is lash out. As easy as it is to do, and as hard as it is to stay away from, it only proves that they were right in one way or another.
When a person cheats it is normally for one reason. That reason is not the same with all people. Maybe sometimes they were lacking something whether it be sexually, emotionally, or they maybe they were just bored! That happens more often than not. Unfortunately, the worst part of this situation is that things will never be the same. No matter what happens from now on out. The only thing that you can do is either accept it and move on with your lives, or accept it and move out! What they have done is inexcusable and irreconcilable. But what is done, is done.
As far as children go, they should not be a part of this predicament. Your spouse did not intend to hurt them, they did not cheat on them. No matter how it may feel. Kids are harmless, selfless, and their parents are their hero's. By bringing them into a situation of such magnitude you are only hurting them. It does not make either of the parents feel any better, and you are making them feel as if they caused this catastrophe. They certainly did not. It also puts them in a very bad place where they have to pick sides. No child deserves that.
I hope my words have helped you through your predicament, whatever it may be. Please do not ever lose sight of what is important to you and your family.