by christina christou

Created on: October 29, 2009   Last Updated: October 30, 2009

It takes a very strong and forgiving person to make a relationship with a cheater work out. There are people who can simply put the past to rest and move forward. Can a leopard change its spots? No! Can a cheater stop cheating? No, unless they have done a lot of soul-searching and maybe are too old to run around any more.

Profile of a serial cheater:

Charming, big ego hiding a very insecure man/woman inside. Usually very attractive or uses clothes, accessories, makeup, etc to create a persona that is desirable. That is not to say that unattractive people cannot be cheaters, or that all attractive people are cheaters.

Usually likes to flash the money, pay for drinks, holidays, days out. Is a good talker and even a good listener. They make you feel special, especially if you are the other woman/man. Even if this is your other half, the charm can be switched on to make you feel that you are all they desire.

May have a temper, may be physical but can apologize and make it all better. Manipulators, bright and articulate (they need to be to keep up with all the lies they invent). Tell you they need to flirt, chat , be sociable for their work, image, etc and that it means nothing other than promoting themselves, for the benefit of the family, your relationship etc.

Can be very restless, is not a homebody but when home likes to unwind and preen. Can be a good father/mother, but will usually favour the child who is more compliant, and will find it difficult with one that sees through them.

Serial cheaters are trying to prove something to themselves, others or just trying to fill in the void they feel. They are very sensitive about others not approving of them, so they turn to someone who may approve. It becomes quite addictive, and destructive, where there is a longing for a normal life of a happy relationship with kids and a dog, but the pull of the chase is just too alluring.

So, back to the question can a relationship with a cheater ever work? If you are a psychotherapist, a minister, or a Jesus, the answer is yes; if you are a human being with your own insecurities and hangups and trust issues (if you're the one who's been cheated on by this person or another,) then the answer is most probably no.

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