by Lawrence Poploski

Created on: October 28, 2009   Last Updated: October 30, 2009

There are two types of golf etiquette, and someone aspiring to become proficient at the game would be wise to learn both variations. Let's address what I term "traditional" etiquette. You can read all the golf books on the subject, but the best way to learn proper etiquette is by playing with a seasoned golfer who is considerate enough to explain the details. It's how most golfers learn, either beginning as children and being taught proper behavior by a parent or later in life, from golfing companions who welcome you into their game. It's not a complicated matter. You just don't replace divots you make on the fairways or ball marks you punch on the greens, but you also show an appreciation for the game by fixing the damage made be less considerate golfers who failed to be as attentive. Simply, when you leave the course, leave it in better shape than when you arrived. You'll also learn the better players adhere to golfing etiquette with a passion and there is a correlation between how well you behave and how well you play. When told about an error, don't take it personally. It's the same as getting a top on how to swing better. It's advice that will improve how well you play and how much you actually enjoy this wonderful game.

Now for the second variation I call "non-traditional" etiquette. This rules are rarely enforced, but knowing how they apply will help enhance your stature with fringe element in the game. Let's name some:

- Never show up at the course drunk. Drinking while playing is often encouraged, but showing up three sheets to the wind before the first ball is hit is jumping the gun. Polite golf drinkers always share the inebriation experience with their partners, keeping track of each others intake for legal and handicap reasons. Showing up smashed at the first tee is just plain rude.

- Make honest bets. Doubling the normal wager against a player whose wife ran off the night before with the plumber is insensitive. Sure, you will probably win the bet given his disturbed mental state, but non-traditional etiquette demands this guy be given a pass during his off week. We all have our bad moments.

- Try to limit your use of legal and/or illegal substances before, during and after play. Popping pain pills when you have no pain is an unfair edge since you will be more mellow in tense situations. Smoking roll-your-owns with enough gusto that a ganja fog follows your cart around the course is inconsiderate given that second hand smoke is not healthy. Save your recreational substance abuse for other forms of fun such as skydiving, coaster riding or bungee jumping.

- Last but not least, buy a drink. If you won money during play it's a requirement. If you lost, it's a nice gesture sure to be recognized. When you play the 19th hole with the same consideration as the previous 18, you have arrived. I'll have a Rolling Rock, thank you. Until then, fore.

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