by Dr. G. A. Anderson

Created on: October 28, 2009   Last Updated: May 02, 2010

It's so common to come into contact with people who complain about the smallest things, the most insignificant things, the things we barely notice ourselves until they're pointed out by our complaining companions.

As an example, a person with whom we speak frequently is both annoying and obnoxious. He is amazingly intelligent and aware in most of life's situations, except, it seems, for the way his constant complaining affects others. He is a chronic complainer who has nothing good to say about the way the world works or the way the people in it behave. Just mention a topic, and he's off and running. He is a classic complainer - he doesn't pick and choose when complaining about people, places, or things - he complains about everyone and everything.

This makes it difficult to interact in person or even by phone. Emails are tedious. It makes others want to stay away, although his theories and ideas are sometimes correct and his views, interesting and provocative. Eventually, though, the conversation turns negative because he begins to complain about all the various aspects of the topic. Discussing life in general, it's not satisfying for him, so he complains. If the subject is relationships, they aren't trustworthy. If someone infringes on his property rights, it's about people in the neighborhood. If it's financial, financial institutions are trying to rip him off. Once he's set his mind on a complaint, there's no steering him away from his point of view. It's best to end the conversation because you know it's a waste of breath to continue.

By comparison, those who engage in conversation about the government, foreign affairs, health care issues, human rights topics, and other current events and have considered opinions for these issues are more likely taken seriously in discussions. Discourse of this nature is not usually regarded as annoying complaining. Instead, these discussions can evoke serious thought and contemplation. They may cause an adjustment of attitude or a different way of thinking - a more open-minded view of a formerly close-minded opinion. This is not complaining, but discussing various views and feelings associated with theories. People who exchange ideas in this way are not complainers, but thinkers. No matter what political or other agendas they may be following, they are being reasonable. responsible, and rational in their discussions, and complaining does not enter into conversation.

People who simply must complain about everything do

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