by Melissa Sparks

Created on: October 28, 2009

Not Goodbye

He lay in his bed so comfy and snug, a smile on his face, a gesture of love. His eyes sparkled with fear and excitement. He knew he would soon fly to Heaven where he belonged to escape the pain of life in today's world. He was the lucky one. Only a small frail boy of 10 , he was filled with wisdom far beyond his years.

It was a beautiful day in February with the sky bright, yet a tinge of coolness in the air. I had just thrown my clothes on as the doorbell rang. Rushing to the door, I opened it without hesitation. There stood my neighbor with her phone in hand. The news was devastating, my mom called hysterical to tell me my father had passed away in his bed. Only 56 years old, this seemed almost like a nightmare.

My son, Justin, was staring at me with tears in his eyes as he watched me fall to the floor crying and screaming hanging on to the kitchen cabinet. Being the next morning after the horrible news, I was out of my mind with grief. He stood there and asked, Would you like for me to sit with you Mom? I shook my head yes and we sat for hours at the kitchen table crying.

My other four children were in disbelief that their Grand Dad was gone. We managed to pull it together for the Service. During which time I had noticed Justin looked thin and his face was pale with dark circles under his eyes. I thought perhaps it was from a virus the children and I had. Family members made several comment as to the fact he looked sickly. I was concerned in the midst of it all.

A few days had passed as Justin came out of his room to ask for school pictures, the tiny oval ones, to put around the picture of Jesus he had me hang for him the day before. At that moment I had a most sinking fearful feeling inside. Brain Tumor had popped into my mind suddenly. I shook it off proposing to myself it was a crazy thought. Strange occurrences took place over the next few days

He had been having headaches again from his temples to the back of his neck. I gave him pain medication he had from an abscess a month earlier. I sat next to him on the sofa and put his head in my hands. At that moment I could here my Father telling me to take him to the hospital. This I did not ignore. The results of that visit was hydrocephalus (water on the brain) due to a brain tumor 4 cm round.

Heading to Texas Children's Hospital I knew from that moment on all our lives would change forever. After tests, blood work and MRI, we were told he had Meduloblastoma. A childhood cancer with no known

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