by Melissa Harlow

Created on: October 28, 2009   Last Updated: October 29, 2009

Enjoy them while they are young. Because once children get into school full-time, they become a totally different person. Keep in mind that this is not entirely a bad thing. They start to develop their own thoughts and opinions about subjects. They can hold down a better conversation with you. You actually see and hear their ability to grasp abstract concepts grow. It is a busy, challenging time for a parent. It is a critical maturation period for the child. Sometime after ages 6 or 7, there is a shift to where life gets much more complicated for your child. Buckle your seat belts for what is the start of a bumpy ride.

For the record, I am the mom of a nine year old boy. I am not a child psychologist. I can only speak from my experiences thus far with my son. So please take my advice from one parent to another.

From seven and a half on, my son's friends have been his life. So have his extra-curricular activities. I have noticed that these are areas in his life he is particular about. It would be my advice to watch what interests your child has and who their friends are. The result might surprise you. I know I was in a few areas.

Remember they know more than you think they know. I am speaking of alcohol, drugs, sex...etc. I had to contain my shock when my son told me he refused his first drink and weed just this summer. Be willing to listen without being judgemental. Please keep your cool. Believe me, I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. However, that won't teach him anything. I needed to get the facts from him. That took a calm head. He also needed to be taught the dangers. Which also required me to remain composed.

Be there to listen without being there to judge. My boy did the right thing. We praised him for it. Our house has an open-question policy. Meaning if he is confused about anything he has heard about an issue, we will answer him. This may sound silly. However, it actually has helped with questions about girls and puberty. He does not feel intimidated to ask sensitive questions now. For him, the pressure of being judged has been taken off.

Be aware of your child's media influences. The Internet is far from being child-friendly. Do not be afraid to be the parent and enforce discipline when necessary. You still should get the respect you deserve.

I have removed friends that I firmly believed where negative influences to my son. Of course, this did not go off very well. He needed some time after this. I was not the most popular parent in the US after that one.

Have honest discussions about the possible consequences for their actions. (ie. Pregnancy, Jail). Let them have a period of time to adjust. Whether it is a romantic break-up or a fight between two buddies, kids need time to cool off.

A firm but loving hand has kept my son on the straight and narrow. I am always willing to listen, love, advise, and give hugs. If your child has a sense that you will be there when you are needed most, the harder parts of growing up should be a little easier.

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