by C. Martinez

Created on: October 28, 2009   Last Updated: October 29, 2009

Addiction destroys lives.

Pornography addiction is especially devastating. If your teenager is addicted to pornography please remember you are not alone. It's the easiest addiction to feed and it's the easiest to hide. You can help your teen if you are honest with them, and help them bring things to light.

1. Keep your eyes open.

Keep on your guard. You are the first and last line of defense for your child. Parents must be careful not to ignore suspicious behavior in their teens. Let them know you trust and love them, but that you are watching them. Your vigilance will help them keep on the right path.

2. Talk to your teen.

The parent-teen relationship is dying. Parents are content to let others parent their children. Your teen wants and needs you. As an adult you are responsible for the relationship with your teen. They make their own choices, but your choices carry drastically more consequences as the authority figure in their lives.

3. Be persistent.

Don't expect that one night of "trying to talk" to make up for years of neglect. Developing an open relationship with your teen takes work. It will not happen overnight. It probably won't happen over many nights, but it is your responsibility, none the less. Seek help when working on your relationship with your teen.

4. Encourage your teen.

A struggle is not a defeat. Just because your teen is battling with something doesn't mean they've lost the fight. The very fact that they have not given up should encourage them. Share the battles you've faced and obstacles you've overcome. Share your struggles openly yet responsibly with your teen. Let them know that it's ok to struggle; it's just not ok to give up.

5. Get your teen help.

Take your teen to a counselor or clergy member quickly, preferably both. Your teen needs the guidance these professionals can give. Often the addict feels that they are alone in their struggle. They believe that no one understands what they are going through.

6. Set the example.

Do not "preach" one thing but do another. Don't be a hypocrite. If you are looking at pornography, stop. Set the tone in your home. You are the adult; act like it. Get rid of any pornography you have.

7. Apologize to your teen.

If you were a negative influence, make it. Talk to your child about your wrong actions and admit to them. Apologize. Don't pass the blame or marginalize your error. Admit your wrongs. Let them know that you will walk with them on this journey towards purity.

8. Help your teen set boundaries.

Addiction grows in the darkness. Move computers into open areas. The Internet is full triggers for this addiction. It is the number one source of pornography on the planet. Get your teen's email and social network passwords. Use an Internet filter. Many filters block and/or record suspicious sites. An addict can succeed if things are in the open. Filter the shows, movies, websites, songs, radio stations, and TV channels that are allowed in your home.

9. Don't blame yourself for your teen's addiction.

It may not be your fault. Still, you are the greatest influence on your teen. Your words and actions carry more weight than New York or Hollywood. You are responsible for your child's growth and development.

10. Above all else, don't give up. A struggle is not a defeat.

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