I am the oldest of seven children, and have five of my own. At times, our family would have been viewed as poverty-stricken, or at the very least, very poor. As my own children grew up, there were many things they could not have or do because of the cost. Although there has never been much money in my birth family or my own family, we have been rich in many other ways that a small family may not have the opportunity to experience.

Parents, or potential parents, have a variety of reasons for choosing to have a small or a large family. For some, having only one or two children means having the ability to provide more for those children, with the idea of giving the children more than the parents had when they were children. Or, maybe the idea is that there would be less of a problem for parents pursuing careers. Whatever the reason for the decision, only children or very small families do not always provide the children with many valuable assets they will need in life.

Many times, only children or children in small families are given much more than they need and parents go overboard with toys, clothes, dancing and piano lessons whatever the child may want. Their every need is met, and there are many who are not required to earn any of it, do chores, or earn their allowance. In a large family, the new clothes you get or the toy you want are a special treat, and usually infrequent. Getting to take piano lessons also is something that would not be taken for granted.

Another aspect characteristic of large families is that the children always have someone to play with and others to learn from. Although you certainly can be lonely in a crowd, many times only children or children in very small families experience loneliness.

Children in large families learn to be independent and do things for themselves. They learn to clean and cook and do other chores to keep the family clean and fed. They are learning how to take care of themselves and getting training that will help them with their own family as adults. They learn to share and to get along with other people. Hopefully, they learn the value of money and the difference between needs and wants, what is necessary and what is not. They do not think of the extras they get as their right to have it, but as something that wasn't easy to come by and a luxury.

Children in large families usually find ways to make their own money for extras as they get old enough, whether it comes from babysitting, mowing lawns, or a job at a fast food restaurant. It not only gives them the opportunity to learn responsibility with their own money, but also gives them work experience that can be valuable.

While there are many small families where the parents require the children to earn an allowance and do not cater to every whim as long as there is money in the bank, others do their children a disservice, even though unintentionally, by providing more than enough without instilling responsibility, the ability to share with others, and other values and experiences they may need later in life.

No one should have more children than they can afford to support, or more than they feel they can handle emotionally. But, all other factors considered, having more than one or two children can be a rewarding experience for both parents and children.

Learn more about this author, P. Payne.
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