The word art may be sorely overused today but in the case of negotiation it's well placed. Negotiation can't be wedged into a rigid formula and relies on a combination of skill, awareness and above all, creative thinking.
The cornerstone of negotiation is the belief that a positive outcome is possible and can be achieved without aggression or trickery. It's not a battle of wits or wills; the true opponent is the problem to be solved, not the person on the other side of the table. Believing that a decent solution can be found gives you the determination to plough on in spite of setbacks along the way. Focusing on the situation and challenges it presents rather than the people involved keeps it from feeling personal, which is a danger zone for tempers. The best negotiators are patient but tenacious and have a very long fuse.
It's crucial to know where you want to wind up. The destination is what matters; the route is where you can be flexible. But what you want isn't the only thing to know before you start. You should also think about why you want it. If it's a means to an end, what's the end? It is safety, security, prosperity, progress or wellbeing? As discussions progress, it's good to learn these aspects about the people you're negotiating with as well, if possible. Beneath surface differences there are often deeper needs which are compatible and may even prove an area of common ground.
If negotiation is an art, searching for common ground is like experimenting with different chords or colour schemes until you find harmonies which can be built upon. Even something as basic as we both want this to be resolved sets things off on an encouraging note. Using the term we and thinking in us terms e.g. what we're doing, what we want to achieve or even where we don't agree emphasizes the fact that finding a solution is a joint process. It's especially useful to return to shared experiences or common ground when things are getting a bit heated.
But knowing what people do want has to be balanced with what they don't want. There may be compromises or methods that someone really does not find acceptable. If all else fails, it might become necessary to revisit these issues, but in the early stages of negotiation it works better to see them as parameters rather than obstacles.
So now the groundwork is laid. The parameters are set - you know what each person wants to achieve, what they hope it will do and what might not be negotiable. Everything in between is in the realm of possibility. Time to get creative.
A good exercise to start with is to go over whatever's been said and change every but to and. What would the picture look like if it was possible to combine what both sides want? Some sections won't work, but others might. How could these be achieved?
Breaking large issues down into smaller parts and components gives more opportunity for movement. It's not written in stone that you need to hammer away at the toughest block till you reach a breakthrough. When one piece of the puzzle hits a snag, it's sometimes better to switch to another and come back later. Identifying a variety of areas open to possible negotiation is part of a negotiator's artfulness. The more there are, the better the chance that discussions can keep moving forward. One of the best sayings I know for effective negotiation is push where it moves.
Then, of course, there are the points which do not lend themselves to a win-win scenario and can only be resolved through compromise, concession or trade-off. Good bargaining also comes back to knowing what you want. In this case, however, it concerns working out ahead of time what will take priority when and if you have to sacrifice a less important goal for a greater one. Understanding the position of the people you're speaking to and putting yourself in their place becomes even more valuable at this stage. You may, for example, see ways to lessen negative consequences for them or recognize bargaining chips which don't relate to your own goals but may make an offer more attractive to them.
Negotiation involves far more than simple haggling. It's used in some of the most serious situations we know, in rescues and peacemaking. It's an art, but one that does not rely on talent. It can be learned and practiced even by children. What it takes is believing that where there's a will, there's a way.