by Adele Gregory

Created on: October 27, 2009

The word art may be sorely overused today but in the case of negotiation it's well placed. Negotiation can't be wedged into a rigid formula and relies on a combination of skill, awareness and above all, creative thinking.

The cornerstone of negotiation is the belief that a positive outcome is possible and can be achieved without aggression or trickery. It's not a battle of wits or wills; the true opponent is the problem to be solved, not the person on the other side of the table. Believing that a decent solution can be found gives you the determination to plough on in spite of setbacks along the way. Focusing on the situation and challenges it presents rather than the people involved keeps it from feeling personal, which is a danger zone for tempers. The best negotiators are patient but tenacious and have a very long fuse.

It's crucial to know where you want to wind up. The destination is what matters; the route is where you can be flexible. But what you want isn't the only thing to know before you start. You should also think about why you want it. If it's a means to an end, what's the end? It is safety, security, prosperity, progress or wellbeing? As discussions progress, it's good to learn these aspects about the people you're negotiating with as well, if possible. Beneath surface differences there are often deeper needs which are compatible and may even prove an area of common ground.

If negotiation is an art, searching for common ground is like experimenting with different chords or colour schemes until you find harmonies which can be built upon. Even something as basic as we both want this to be resolved sets things off on an encouraging note. Using the term we and thinking in us terms e.g. what we're doing, what we want to achieve or even where we don't agree emphasizes the fact that finding a solution is a joint process. It's especially useful to return to shared experiences or common ground when things are getting a bit heated.

But knowing what people do want has to be balanced with what they don't want. There may be compromises or methods that someone really does not find acceptable. If all else fails, it might become necessary to revisit these issues, but in the early stages of negotiation it works better to see them as parameters rather than obstacles.

So now the groundwork is laid. The parameters are set - you know what each person wants to achieve, what they hope it will do and what might not be negotiable. Everything in between is

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