by Ted Sherman

Created on: October 27, 2009

You can't ignore the declaration when your teen makes the refusal to attend college. Other than considering immediate strangulation, your job as a parent is to try to chip away in positive ways at the teen's negative attitude.

Of course, if the teen has established a terrible high school academic record, you may be forced to accept the decision. However, even in the worst of circumstances, if you truly believe your underachieving child is able to handle higher education, you may urge your teen to enroll in a community college.

If the teen's choice was to get a job right out of high school, ask him/her to consider enrollment in a part-time, for-credit college course at a nearby junior or community college. Then, there's a chance that, after several months or years of maturation, the teen may consider enrolling in a four-year college. Those credits may be accepted, making the teen's freshman year somewhat easier to handle.

Another approach is counseling. If the high school staff couldn't convince your teen to enroll in any college, there are alternatives. Have your teen talk with young people who are currently enrolled in college, or have recently completed bachelor's or master's degrees. If they're close relatives or friends of the teen, so much better are chances that your teen will listen to them. If these very considerate mentors have attained success in business or professions, ask them to spend quality time with your teen. This should include their taking your teen to career workplaces and visiting appropriate colleges and universities together.

Another suggestion, which could be considered a last resort or absolute waste by some families, is to support your teen for a year of travel. The tired phrase is that travel will give the teen time to find her/himself. On the other hand, many families simply consider it 12 months of useless self-indulgence at parents' expense.

If you're not quite convinced that a year of travel is a waste, encourage your teen to sign up for several months to a year with a valid national or international volunteer group. There are many that welcome teens and people of all ages to participate, including Habitat for Humanity, the Peace Corps or church groups that sponsor overseas charity projects.

The records show that such volunteer and paid experiences often have definitely positive effects on the attitudes and maturity process of participating teens. And after the term of meaningful volunteer work is concluded, your now-seasoned and matured teen will be ready for college.

A much more drastic step is to talk with your undecided teen about joining one of the Armed Services. Depending on the enlistment requirements, the teen may be required to serve from one to three years of active service. Of course, with America deeply involved in wars and international terrorism, military life today may be hard and dangerous. The consequences of such a decision must be carefully thought out and discussed thoroughly by the teen and parents.

Additionally, as with seeking mentors to guide your teen to college, if the military is considered, ask the teen's former schoolmates, family friends and relatives who are currently serving to particpate in the discussions.

When your teen refuses to go on to college immediately after successfully completing high school, you could just accept it. Or you may decide to try to change the teen's mind with meaningful, loving and considerate advice.

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