by Elaine Sihera

Created on: October 27, 2009

Self mutilation affects one percent of people in the US, with teens being the most prone to doing it to themselves and girls outnumbering boys by 5 to 1.

As a parent, it is important to understand that self-mutilation is not an indication that the teen is definitely suicidal. It is more of a coping mechanism to help them deal with the extreme underlying tension and anxieties they feel caused by the pressure of their homes, peer groups, school or whatever external stimuli that is affecting them unduly. Self mutilation provides a way out of their pain and gives them a sense of control over their lives.

Often self-mutilation begins as a random act at one particular time when they feel most anxious (like having a disappointment, hurt or rejection). It can trigger feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness and failure which then lead to self mutilation, a kind of self blame and punishment. But is likely to settle into a habit on a regular basis, if it achieves the result expected. Though the teen may not be really hurt by it, feeling hardly any pain, they may feel a great sense of relief and comfort after doing it. From then on the impulse to injure themselves can occur almost without thinking. However, if it gets worse or carries on for too long, it can have the opposite effect of inducing helplessness, impotence and alienation in the teen.

The most common form of self mutilation is by cutting and slashing on the arms and legs, in particular, but there can also be burns, biting, scratching or bruising. Any kind of handy object can be used including scissors, knives, razors, lighters and even a paper clip, because it has a pointed edge. Self mutilators tend to have a history of physical, emotional or sexual abuse, and have a sense of shame about themselves. They tend to be low in self esteem, have high levels of anxiety, worry a lot, seem unable to cope with difficult or stressful situations, tend to retreat into themselves or their own space and, most often, are feeling invisible and neglected by their parents.

As a parent you can help your teen in the following ways:

1. Try and find out as much as you can about self-mutilation. Just don't panic, educate yourself instead. By improving your own knowledge on the subject, it will carry less fear and anxiety for you. Try not to issue ultimatums or judge the behaviour either. Compassion and understanding is most needed at such times.

2. Find time for your teen and talk to him/her as much as possible. Discover why they

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