by C. Martinez

Created on: October 27, 2009   Last Updated: October 30, 2009

If your teen refuses to go to college you have several options. Remember, you are not alone. Many teens see no correlation between school and the real world. School is irrelevant to them, and they see no value in it. Until, now it has had no immediate impact on their lives.

*College is more important today than ever. Today's job market is different. You need viable skills to make money in this economy. Specialization is increasing the need of education for everyone. You are responsible for your child. This responsibility requires that you help them become a functioning adult.

*Choices have consequences. Your teen has the right to their own decisions, but choices have consequences. You can't force them to do anything, but you can help them to self-select a better future. Don't push your teen towards anything. Instead, help them to discover the long range consequences of their actions.

An Action Plan

*Affirm your love for them. Your love for them should not be based on their actions. Love them whatever they do. Show them that you are not giving up on them, but you are trying to help them. Get them a mentor. A mentor will help them define a direction for their lives. Houses of worship and community centers often provide these services free of charge.

*Talk to them. Help them see beyond today. Teens delay education because they lack vision for their lives. Help them discover their talents, and encourage them. Fan the flames of their passion. It is "ok" if they pursue a career you don't like. Let them dream.

*Encourage them. Many teens think college will be too difficult for them. It may be hard, but they can succeed. Help them improve their weak areas. Let them know they have your support. Help them find a school that fits their needs and dreams.

*Help them find ways to pay for school. Many teens are afraid to dream of college because it's expensive. Help them find loans, and scholarships. Show them their options. Help them see their choices. Talk to friends and family who may be able to help. The Internet is full of options.

*Don't make life to easy for them. It hasn't been easy for you. Don't give them allowances or pay their bills. Teens need to understand the realities of life. If they want something, let them earn it. It will build an appreciation for money and hard work.

*Don't let them settle in a low-end job. If they refuse to go to college, don't allow them to live at home and work part-time for long. Of course, they need your love and support; but, don't let them become delusional. They cannot support themselves with a minimum wage part-time job.

*Charge them rent. You can keep the money or you can save it for them. When they move out on their own, you can give all or part back to them.

Other options

*Encourage military service. The discipline instilled in them will make them better people. They will acquire valuable skills while serving their country. They will receive financial assistance for their education. Some will make a very successful and rewarding career out of the military.

*Trade schools are another viable option. It is important that they increase their skill set. Your teen may make a very successful cook, medical tech, or mechanic. The important thing is that they find something they can enjoy and earn a living doing.

*Don't give up. One day your teen will see the value in education. Support them when they do.

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