by Daniel Coffman

Created on: February 14, 2007   Last Updated: April 26, 2007

I was a "Stay-at-home Dad" for a total of seven years. For those of you who instantly conjure images of Michael Keaton in "Mr. Mom" this could not be further from the truth. First, a little background:

My wife and I worked for many years, right up until our first son was born. Even before having children, we had both agreed not to use child care, preferring to raise our children ourselves. I worked during the day, my wife continued her college education at night. Things changed when she graduated, though. Her first job offer was fully three times what I made... just to start. After a long family meeting we agreed I should stay home and care for our son, now nearly two years old. Besides a short period after which our youngest son was born, this has been the situation up until recently.

For those men out there considering a similar course, let me give some advice: DON'T DO IT! Just kidding. It IS hard, though; harder than you can imagine. The housework alone can be maddening. Although I quickly got tired of the knowing glances and snide remarks of "I'll bet YOU were surprised!" or "It's VERY hard, isn't it?" from women, I have to admit to being overwhelmed at first. I expected it to be difficult; I wasn't one of those men who think stay-at-home mothers just sit around watching soap operas and eating chocolates. Just how difficult it was surprised me, though. Like any job, -and it IS a job- being the primary caregiver for your kids requires much more from you than at first glance.

Being a Stay-at-Home Dad is just as much about being a good husband, housecleaner, teacher, arbitrator and friend as it is about parenting. Besides keeping the house clean, getting my wife off to work happy and on time, juggling homework and extracurricular activities, and settling arguments I also ran a small eBay business. Here are some pointers to help you, the new stay-at-home Dad, adjust to this very different, very challenging new vocation:

First: Schedule. Although making (and following) a schedule may seem repugnant to some, it is essential when caring for a home and children. A schedule shouldn't be written in stone, mind you. Things change, emergencies happen; you must be flexible. Also, your initial schedule will change over the first few months as you learn what works and what doesn't. Don't be afraid to ask someone for help; your wife, mother or even (gasp!) mother-in-law will have useful advice on how to prioritize.

As with any advice, take whatever you hear with a grain of

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