by Karen Williams

Created on: October 27, 2009

We probably all agree that forgiveness is a desirable process. It's especially good for the person doing the forgiving, as they are no longer mired in anger, resentment, and maybe even hatred. Regularly thinking unhappy thoughts about anyone disallows the well-being that is naturally ours from flowing to us and sets us up, via Law of Attraction, to rendezvous with more trouble from the same person or others. Conversely, when we release our grudges, as difficult as it may be, we feel lighter and free, and we're no longer sabotaging the manifestation of our desires because we're no longer intently focused on what/whom we don't like.

Yes, forgiveness is a good thing. However, recalling past injuries, slights, and conflicts with the well-intentioned notion of blanket giving of forgiveness as well asking for forgiveness is as naive and misguided as it is well-intentioned.

Countless personal development and spiritual leaders offer exercises in blanket forgiveness, however, and it is emphasized in twelve-step programs. Such leaders and programs recognize the immense value of forgiveness in rendering people happier and well-adjusted, but they encourage people to dredge up the past in the process of letting it all go in one fell swoop or two, and that can be counter-productive.

OK, why?

Even with intentions of forgiveness, when we focus on a series of bad-feeling experiences and interactions from the past, our vibration (our point of attraction) takes a big hit. It's just not possible to think about a lot of unpleasant events without going into a lower vibration place. And from this place of reliving difficult times and feeling some emotional pain, we are not in a position to accomplish any sort of would-be healing of our psyche. Nothing good comes from feeling bad. It defies universal law.

The premise for this type of healing can be traced to Freudian and Jungian psychology, which posits that we have a dark, spooky basement of unconscious pain that sabotages us until it is discovered, drug up to the light of day, and released, as in blanket forgiveness exercises, for example. As we acknowledge, even relive, past hurts and regrets and forgive, we are supposedly set free from some of our issues.

It made sense to me as I studied neo-Freudianism in college, and it still seemed to make sense to me when, many years later, I saw and participated in spiritual groups that urged reliving past trauma and hurts for the purpose of release. But I always had the nagging sensation

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>