So your child has been expelled or suspended from school. Perchance this isn't the first time your child has displayed problems with fitting into the educational system. You will be disheartened, this child you had so many hopes and dreams for is now showing signs of belligerence, aggression, disinterest and so much more.
First and foremost know that you are not alone, a myriad of parents all over the world are going through or have gone through the very same heartache and disappointment. Right from kindergarten to high school kids are being expelled and suspended from school on a daily basis. Many of these kids seemed so academically sound yet now they are displaying all the signs of delinquents, bullies and so forth.
As we all know, school vary in what is and what is not acceptable behaviour. Each school district has its own list of what will and what will not be tolerated. Reasons for being expelled or suspended can be anything from, threatening violence, attempted violence, malicious damage to school property possession of a weapon such as a knife or firearm, substance abuse or furnishing a substance which is deemed a drug. Theft, smoking of tobacco, obscene language or actions, disruptive behaviour, supplying or reading of pornographic literature or defiance of school authority.
If the child were an adult it is quite likely they would be jailed, therefore as parents we must understand that these acts are punishable. Of course we do not wish our children to end up incarcerated so what do we do when our child is expelled/suspended from school?
The very first thing a parent needs to do is fully comprehend that a child's poor behaviour is a smoke screen for what is going on within their mind. It is an obvious sign that something problematic is disturbing the child. Their unruly acts are the outwards signs of what is actually manifesting within.
Your child's inner turmoil did not happen overnight, something has been disturbing them for some time now. One needs to find the true source of the problem and help their child in every manner they can. Many parents fail to see that their child has a problem and this is not always the fault of the parents as children can camouflage things very well if needed. In other cases parents often put down poor behaviour to the child's age, thinking this is normal. Some parents tend to think that their child is just displaying their individuality, standing their ground. But condoning poor behaviour only increases its occurrence.
Parents need to assess just how much this behaviour is upsetting the entire family apart from their school. If your child is aggressive, withdrawn and argumentative it's definitely time to seek assistance. Your child could unknowingly be bipolar, ADD, ADHD or have a behaviour disorder which needs medical intervention of some sort. You will need to recall how long your child has been displaying bad behaviour and to what level of intensity is this behaviour. Do their action appear as simple temper tantrums or are they extremely frightening to everyone? How old is your child and how does this behaviour compare to other kids of the same age?
Does your child seem suicidal or engage is self harm? Are they withdrawn and do not interact well with others? Do they hesitate to be a part of daily family routines? If the answer is yea you need to seek mental health professional advise immediately. School counsellors are all well and good but when your child is expelled or suspended from school, you need to get help from health specialists outside the school as well. ( Obviously they have huge mental problems of some sort. ) Your child need to see specialists who know what is and isn't normal, specialists who can dig deep enough to find what is disturbing your child.
Perhaps you need to contemplate home schooling, but remember that home schooling does not aid in teaching a child to interact well with others. Thinking of alternative schooling, specialty school or boot camp type school? If your child has deep rooted problems none of these will change his/her involvement in drugs and weapons etc.
So what do I do?
Make a list of your child's obvious problems, drugs, violence etc. Then seek the help of medical professionals who work with children with behaviour problems. Show them your list and work with them to find out what is truly the problem. Take a good honest look at your child's home environment. Is the family a dysfunctional one? Is the child subjected to domestic violence? Are you or your spouse argumentative? Has your child been abused in any manner? Neglected?
Don't fight anger with anger. Give your child all the love and assurance you can, tell him/her that you will do everything you can to help them become a happier person. But tell them that this will be teamwork, that they must do all they can to become a better person, help is not a one way street!
Children have so much to contend with these days, our modern society has seen to that. As parents we can not wrap our children in cotton wool forever. They will face peer pressure, media influence in reference to drugs, sex, alcohol, substance abuse and so much more. They have so much negativity surrounding them these days that there is little wonder many of them get into some type of trouble.
Statistics state that the main reason for expulsion from school is for various types of violence and dangerous weapons. It is also said that almost 60% of these expulsions involve high school age children. Once you are informed of your child's expulsion from school you will be informed of the many options to assist your child and hopefully get them back into the educational system in some manner. Know that you can appeal the school's decision and the child is entitled to speak in their own defence. An expulsion can destroy your child's chances of a good education and career. Get help for your child now!