by Candice Ryan

Created on: October 26, 2009   Last Updated: December 31, 2009

If you don't want to hear a yes or no answer, then don't ask a yes or no question. If only it were that simple, toddler hood would be a breeze. However that it is the main way to decrease the occurrence of the "N" word. Most parents strive for well mannered, good listening children and raising toddlers might cause some to feel like they are failing. Don't despair because kids will be kids and they act these ways because they are learning about where they fit it in the world. As long as you love your child unconditionally and show them that everyday, that's all that really matters.

Think about what you're going to say before requesting anything from your toddler. Since they want to be in control of everything, offer them choices and let them have their say about some things. Try to offer two choices when asking your little control freak anything. If there aren't any choices available then don't ask them whether they want to or not. When it's time to get ready to leave in the morning offer two clothing options, two snack options, and two options of toys to bring along. Let them find their shoes themselves and try putting them on. If they feel like they are making decisions everything will go much smoother.

Act like all requests are fun and positive activities. Instead of dragging a screaming toddler around with you, make games and songs out of all tasks so you can have fun while making transitions. When a job gets done reward them with something positive whether it be sticker or an applause. Deep down all children want to make their parents happy and proud of them so when they accomplish something you should acknowledge it. Toddler life is hard so offer incentives when you can. Let your little one know that if they pick up all the toys, they can have a juice box or whatever it is you are giving them. The choice of the incentive is up to you but be careful not constantly bribe your child with gifts and treats or they won't be as special when they do get them.

Reverse psychology is a fun option when dealing with toddlers who want to rule the world. Tell them that their potty is now your potty and you're going to sit on it now. It's almost guaranteed to send them running and possibly screaming that "N" word we all love or their second favorite, "mine". At some point they'll have to learn to share as well though so don't over do possessives. Tell them you really don't want them to eat that sandwich because you're hungry and want to eat it all up or that you hope they don't say cheese for you when taking a picture.

So if you ask a toddler a question with a yes or no answer you will obviously get a "no" unless your asking them if they'd like some chocolate ice cream. Keep everything positive and fun while making your little person feel important and you will be rewarded.

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