by Steve Hansell

Created on: October 26, 2009   Last Updated: December 07, 2009

Before I had children, I thought I understood what it meant to be a good parent. Things were black and white and easy to define before I had a dog in the fight. Kids who won't behave in public were spoiled and they have bad parents. This isn't that hard....

Then I had kids.

My son has ADHD. I fought this diagnosis tooth and nail. I wasn't going to be one of those parents; the ones who dope their kids up because it's a lot easier than being a parent. Everybody agreed with me, at least all of those people who don't have a child diagnosed with ADHD. Hey, it's all "spare the rod" and all that. You need to be a tougher parent. Be more consistent.

If you don't know anyone who has kid has been diagnosed with ADHD, the child's parents probably went through the same process as I did. It's obvious to us as parents that our child is funny, smart, creative, all the good things that make them who they are, but everyone else can only see their bad behavior. And as a parent, it is hard to not just see the good things. They are different in the crowd of kids, different when there is more stimulation around, they act on impulse and many parents become frustrated with them. They are very hard to control in some situations, and they get labeled as the "bad kid". They get invited over to someone's house once, and they don't get to go back. At some point in the process, it becomes obvious that this is more than just and excitable, energetic kid. Many times, the child can't keep his hands to himself, or will talk non-stop. The chatter from teachers and doctors about "medication" begins to grate on your nerves and sounds like nagging.

That was us. We blamed everyone else for not giving him a chance, or his teachers because they couldn't handle him. He could read before the other kids in his class, and he knew all the math, he just never finished his math papers; just because he couldn't sit still didn't make him different. Sure, a lot of kids like to talk, a lot of kids can't sit still through math, it isn't just him.

To be a good parent requires something that I never would have suspected: an open mind.

After trying diet changes, rewards for behavior, punishment for behavior, screaming and banning him from TV, video games, the pool, bikes (you name it, we took it away), it sort of became obvious that Mark wasn't doing this on purpose. He wasn't being malicious or mean, or out-of-control because he could get away with it. He had ADHD.

So, we took the plunge. We talked to many, many

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