According to a recent survey in America, 25% of teens (between the ages of 13 and 17) have shoplifted at least once. However, there are clear gender differences with boys stealing much more than girls: only 14% of young girls (compared to 37% of older boys) admitting to any shoplifting. It seems the worst age group for shoplifting for both genders is between 16 and 18 perhaps because that is the age when brand fashions and the latest technological gadgets are highly sought after. These statistics show that shoplifting is not a minor activity but a major one which costs everyone in the end through higher prices to recoup the losses, and consequences for the stealers.
For parents of teens who have shoplifted, it can be a fraught time wondering how to cope with that deviant but common activity. However, it is worth understanding the reasons teenagers shoplift in order to appreciate how to deal with the matter, if your own teen is involved. At least you will be able to see why your teen feels the need to shoplift and start the remedial process from that basis.
Teens shoplift for a variety of reasons, but the main ones are:
a. Peer pressure, often as a dare: This time of life is a vulnerable one for teens where a sense of belonging, especially to friendship groups, becomes paramount. Often, in a bid to join a group or to impress some friends, the teen could be encouraged to steal. They won't see too much wrong with their activity, especially if everyone else in their group is doing it and they are also involved 'for a laugh'.
b. Thrill seeking and kicks: Most kids admit that they do it for 'thrills' or 'laughs', but this reason appears to apply mainly to the better off, or middle class, teens who shoplift to see if they will get away with it and love the thrill of doing it, the rush of adrenalin, and not being caught.
c. Boredom: This seems to be the most common reason. Teens left with time on their hands, feeling bored with nothing to do, and seeking ways to alleviate it.
d. To gain attention from family and friends: Often teens who have been neglected, left on their own too much, or feeling insignificant and needing to attract attention will shoplift to draw attention to themselves or to use it to 'enhance' their reputation (i.e being 'fearless and daring') in a friendship group.
e. Through the need for money or to keep up with the latest fashion: Teens who are into drugs or alcohol, and need money to buy them, and those who feel the need to keep up with their friends in the latest fashion brands or electronic items, are often tempted to shoplift them or use the goods to fund their addictions. Not wishing to stand out from their peers or feel excluded, especially in the fashion stakes, shoplifting becomes a handy alternative in acquiring the goods. These teens are usually from the poorer economic groups.
f. To assert independence from their parents by doing something against their values: Sometimes when parents are too strict, or the teens don't share their values, shoplifting is used as a means to assert their independence, to embarrass parents too or simply to show that they can do it.
The thrill seeking teens are the ones who are likely to grow out of the habit and leave it behind, if they are shown the error of their ways soon enough. But for those who steal through need, or to keep up with others while living beyond their means, they are a more worrying group who are likely to turn into habitual stealers later on.
Nevertheless, regardless of the reason for shoplifting, teens have to be taught the seriousness of their deviance and the consequences for it. However, yelling, shouting and being openly angry at the teen won't be of much help. The following tips should be more useful.
1. Observe often
By being observant of your teen's behaviour, from as young as possible, you will be able to sense when something isn't quite right. You would also be able to spot items in the home that are not theirs, or any kind of 'secretive' activity.
2. Ensure your teen keeps busy; whether developing interests or hobbies, doing schoolwork, volunteering or doing little jobs around the home. The less 'bored' they feel, the less they will feel the need to find other things to fill their time.
3. A strong message must be given at all times that shoplifting is not allowed with your teen, and the consequences spelled out: that it is a crime, they are likely to be caught and it will have all sorts of repercussions for them, not least a criminal record. On top of that, every shopper, including you, has to pay higher prices to compensate for the losses.
4. If items are discovered in the home, the teen should be made to return it and to apologise for it. Reducing their privileges and other suitable responses, as well as emphasising that you expect much better behaviour because they are worth it, should help to get the main message home to them.
5. Your teen should be left in doubt about the unacceptable nature of shoplifting and how the consequences could affect not only him/her, but also the whole family. Above all, they have to be educated on the subject of trust and honesty which, once lost, has to be earned. Your teen needs to know that shoplifting erodes that trust, makes the person dishonest and reduces the respect for other people's possessions.
6. Above all, affirm and reinforce your teen with regular praise and appreciation. It means they are constantly given attention and not just when they do something wrong. That should instill much self-confidence and pride in who they are, and their other activities. This should make them less dependent upon friends or others for their feelings of worth or self esteem and more independent in thought and actions. Often parents tend to be reactive (to every teen action) instead of proactive (to their teen's needs). By reinforcing and affirming your teen every day of their life they'll come to value themselves too and align with your expectations even more.