by Lisa Kay

Created on: October 26, 2009

Dear You,

I don't know what to say, what to do or what to think any more. I think you know how I feel by now. I thought I was over you, but I'm obviously not. When we first met, I had absolutely no romantic feelings towards you whatsoever, but as time went on, I fell more and more in love with you to the point that you're now all I think about. I hate it. I hate being in the same room with you, because it's a constant reminder that I mean absolutely nothing to you at all. You're smarter than you think. You're stronger than you know. You're funny and friendly, kind and gentle, quiet and shy, and I've wanted to be with you so, so much, that it would hurt. Who was I to think you could ever be my friend, let alone my partner? God forbid I should ever find somebody to love me, that I should ever have a chance at happiness.

Guys generally aren't interested in me. They're either uninterested or unavailable. Like you. I got so, so lucky with you, didn't I? You were both! I had a feeling you had a girlfriend. Of course you do all the guys do! Finding a cute, funny, kind guy with some form of a brain in his head isn't too much to ask. Is it?

I know you have a girlfriend, and I know you're incredibly happy with her. If you didn't love her as much as you do, why would you ask her to marry you when you're 19? Well, screw you. Screw you and how I wanted to fall asleep in your arms. Screw how I thought you would finally be the one that was going to hold me tight and tell me that I was going to be okay. Screw how I thought you were the one who was actually going to show me that not all men were arseholes, and that you were the only truly good man left. Screw that I thought you were the only person in my world that wasn't going to eventually push me away or stick a knife in my back. Your knife was the biggest one of all, and it didn't go through my back. It went through my heart instead.

You make me feel ugly and unlovable. You make me feel I don't deserve anything good in life. Every day, I wake up and plaster a fake smile on my face to hide the fact that I hate the lie I'm living, and it's all because of you. Well, you know what? I'm beautiful, and smart, and big hearted. I'm determined and brave and I deserve everything great this world has to offer. I'll get over you, because I've done it a hundred times before, and I'll be stronger than ever. And you know what else? Because you never bothered to get to know me in any way at all, you've lost the best damn thing that ever happened to you, and you can go to hell.

Learn more about this author, Lisa Kay.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.