by Carmel Brulez

Created on: October 25, 2009   Last Updated: October 27, 2009

You are asking for tips on dating a married woman. I wonder why you are bothering ! It is fraught with so many difficulties, so much sadness, so many problems, I can only assume you are a masochist.

If you are single then find a single woman, DOPEY. Any single man is a total idiot if he makes do with a married woman. She would just be using you. You have all the availability. She can come to your place but you cannot go to hers. She can phone you at home but you cannot phone her at home. You are free every evening and any day she wants, but she is often too busy with her husband to be able to meet you. If you are seeking something casual or just for sex what is the point? She will usually be too busy to meet up, which surely defeats the object! Or are you telling me you are happy to sit indoors alone and have no sex for weeks? And then cancel work or something important so that you can be available to please her. No. Did not think so. If you want something serious then you are definitely wasting your time. She may tell you her husband is boring, nasty and all sorts of awful things, but she is living with him and he is getting more of her time than you are. Even if she promises to leave she may well not go through with it because of fear, commitments, children or money. Every month you spend on this relationship is a month you could have had peace of mind, self esteem and a more fulfilling relationship with someone who treats you better.

If you are married, well then I suppose you would have a lot of trouble in finding a single woman who is daft enough to bother with you, so it follows you will have to date someone in the same situation as you. But why date her at all? Surely it makes more sense to work on your marriage. If you start dating someone on the side your marriage gets more and more boring and more uninteresting. It does not sort the marriage or help it, it makes things worse. You may also end up with two women who are a problem to you.

Have you thought of what would happen if your wife finds out? Or her husband finds out? They would not be very happy about it. And that is putting it mildly. Arguments are for sure. More is very probable. Things would never be the same again.

If you truly are a masochist or so desperate to see this woman you cannot help yourself then you must play by her rules. Wait till she rings. Wait till she can fit you in. Do not complain about all the time she spends with her husband. Do not question her about whether or not she still has sex with him, she would probably say no when it is yes anyway. Do not nag her to spend Christmas with you or go on holiday with you. Accept the limitations that are there. BE VERY CAREFUL YOU ARE NOT FOUND OUT. You cannot be too careful. I still think you are daft though.

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