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The problem for many parents trying to notice the warning signs of abuse in their teens is that it depends on their own definition of what abuse is and exactly where it begins. Often parents focus on physical abuse while missing the verbal and intimidatory parts of it. In fact, if the abuse has reached a physical stage, it is gone well beyond acceptable, because the abuse would have begun in other quiet and subtle ways way before that. What complicates things even further, is that warning signs are often hidden by teens in situations where their parents might have expressed concerns, or even warned them, about their new dates/partners. In those circumstances, guilt and shame might prevent teens being open about what is actually happening to them while they suffer in silence.

The early warning signs of abuse in your teen's relationship might not be very noticeable unless there is a definite change in the teen's behaviour as early as possible. However, these warning signs seem to have six different elements to them, all linking one another in a never-ending circle: control and isolation, increased communication, change in activities, absence of respect, change in personality and violence. By the time the last element, violence, is reached, the abuse would have become almost routine.

1. Control and isolation

This is the first real sign. Abusers function mainly through control, exercised through possessiveness and jealousy. But to control their 'victim', they have to isolate them from others who might have positive influence on the teen or thwart them in their goal: like parents, family and friends. In fact, some parents would be demonised so as to keep the teens away from them. If your teen starts to spend less time with you or their friends, finds constant excuses why he/she can't visit, hardly calls or comes to see you, especially when they were usually more amenable, those are warning signs that they might be prevented from doing so. Control is also exercised through your teen being told what to wear and when, whether to wear make up or not, the times they should be home and having their movement's curtailed. In effect, your teen's friend will be exercising very strong influence and control over your child through a lack of space, dependency on them and isolation from known nfluences.

2. Increased communication

Communication between your teen and their date will be very pronounced. In an abusive relationship, there will be lots of contact between the couple,

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