by christina christou

Created on: October 25, 2009

How do you talk to a man and get him to listen? If the question is coming from a man then of course that is easy, find some common ground, talk about the subject with passion, have a punch up and be friends for ever, only joking. If it a woman asking the question of how to talk to a man and get him to listen then the tactics are similar but on a different level.

If the man is your other half, make sure you understand how his mentality works. Is he easily placated, does he love admiration and compliments, or does he expect respect? Your man may be a combination of the three or he may have another characteristic style. The point is to find out through observation and trial and error what style he has.

Next, whilst you have been observing you may have come across how he behaves in certain situations. How are his stress levels, is he hot headed or is he laid back? Is he interested in what others have to say or is he more interested in the sound of his own voice? Is he self- confident or is he paranoid and insecure? All this matters in the way you will approach talk to him and getting him to listen.

If your man is a hot headed, arrogant, insecure paranoid control freak, maybe the question you should be asking yourself is what are you doing with him? There is no way on earth that you will get this man to listen and you will not be able to stop him talking, as he is the centre of his world. He may feel that every time you mention, let's talk, that you are just waiting to criticise him and of course he is on constant alert and defensive.

This man needs a lot of love and patience, and you need to come to an acceptance that you may never get him to listen to you like you listen to him. It is your choice if you can live with this situation. Of course miracles do happen, he may one day wake up and say to you, love, let's talk , I'm really interested to hear how you feel', but you know that miracles like that don't happen.

Your man may be the most placid, laid back dude who is easy with everything. He may look like he is listening to you, only because he isn't interrupting you or answering back. Give away clues that he is not really listening are, hearing snoring sounds from his direction, seeing a glazed over look in his eyes, looking confused when you ask him to repeat what you just told him.

There is of course the new man, who is more like a girl but in a mans body. He may be gay or he may be just in touch with his feminine side. But beware, what initially looks like the perfect partner turns out to be a combination of a female mate who loves to moan and gossip with testosterone. You do not have the best of both more like the worst of both.

How to talk to a man and get him to listen? I'm not sure there is a tried and tested answer. I suggest taking it slowly, like with a toddler. As toddlers become easily distracted quickly, keep instructions short and clear, give lots of praise and promise him something nice if he does what you want him to do.

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