by Denise Wallace

Created on: October 25, 2009   Last Updated: October 26, 2009

HOW CHRONIC BACK AND NECK PAIN CAN AFFECT MENTAL HEALTH I know a lot about depression. I have been treated for it for about 16 years and have been doing great. I am raising 4 healthy, well adjusted children and loved my life. Until, August 2009 when I began having neck and upper back pain. I started my journey by seeing my Primary Care Physician who gave me an anti-inflammatory and sent me home. I waited a month, taking the medication every day with no change except maybe it felt like it was getting worse. I headed back to my doctor's office and saw the nurse practitioner this time; she prescribed more anti-inflammatory medication and referred me to a physical therapist.

Once again the medication didn't give any relief but I had a lot of hope in the physical therapy I would be receiving. I began physical therapy with a lot of hope, she had an excellent reputation. She worked really hard to help me. Every single appointment gave me the hope that this would be over soon. But on the sixth appointment she told me that she couldn't help me. She said if I wasn't feeling better by now then there was nothing she could do for me. I began to cry. The pain was daily, constant and severe. I felt as if I was changing as a person. I wasn't the same anymore; the pain had tainted everything in my life. Getting out of bed was a chore every morning, knowing that it would be another day with pain.

After physical therapy ended, unsuccessfully, I headed back to my Primary Care Physician. This time she referred me to a DO Doctor. I was now beginning to head into doctor appointments with no hope. I was crying all the time, because the pain was literally taking over my life. Everything in my life seemed dark and dreary. Nothing that made me happy before was making me happy now, I knew that this was a sign of depression, but there was nothing I could do except continue to see doctors and pray that someone would finally be able to help me. The DO Doctor massaged my back/neck and was able to manipulate a vertebra that was out of line back into place. I had so much hope that this was it. For about a week I was really feeling good. I was very careful with everything I did to be sure I didn't reinjure anything. I was happy again.

After about a week it was hurting a little again, I still thought "okay if it stays like this I can handle it, it's not too bad". But little by little it was getting worse and worse until the pain was back, full force. I headed back to my Primary Care Physician and was given a referral to a spinal specialist.

Right now that's where my story ends. I am hoping and praying that this specialist can do something for me. I am back to being depressed, I don't want to do anything, my patience with my children and everyone else around me is so short, I am not making good decisions in my life, my girl friend told me the other day that I've changed since this whole thing started. She meant it with love but it was, by no means, a compliment. Chronic pain takes a little something from you every day. It takes hope, joy, satisfaction in your life, energy, relaxation, and so much more. It has taken ME from me. I don't recognize the person I am right now because pain has taken over. It has taken over every aspect of my life; I don't even think the same. I now have a new understanding and respect for those who live with pain day in and day out. The pain becomes your life, I pray that I will not have to live with this forever.

Learn more about this author, Denise Wallace.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.