by Candice Ryan

Created on: October 25, 2009

Whether you are the victim or the abuser, it's easy to ignore the signs of an emotionally abusive relationship. There is a wide variety of types of emotional abuse you could be involved in without noticing it. Sadly, it often stems from what kind of relationships you were exposed to as a child.

Expecting too much from a person on a constant basis is one form. Demanding that your partner spend all their spare time with you and only you and devote all their attention to you at all times is being excessive and emotionally abusive. Your partner will not be able to fulfill your needs if your expectations are too high. You are setting yourself up for disappointment which makes your partner feel continuously berated.

A more obvious form of emotional abuse is verbal assault. This could be anything from name calling to threatening. Everything is blamed upon one partner in the relationship. If the victim of abuse accuses their partner, it will get turned around so that it's the victim's fault for everything occurs. The abuser never takes responsibility for faults. Sarcastic remarks, humiliation, and exposing flaws are also forms of verbal assault. Over time they break down a person's sense of self worth and make them feel unconfident.

Denying a person dependency can also be a sign of emotional abuse. If the person constantly denies emotional needs in order to hurt his or her partner that is withholding. Withholding love from a person on a regular basis as a punishment is very abusive. Not knowing how your partner will respond to anything you do can be very frightening. The feeling of "walking on egg shells" in instilled through inconsistent over reactions to minor requests or actions. Denying their feelings, thoughts and opinions are valid will also affect their self esteem.

If someone was raised in an emotionally abusive relationship as a child, the chances are higher they will either be abusive as an adult or that they will get abused. If you find yourself in a place where you are justifying abuse from a loved one by saying things like, "They're just having a bad day.", or "This is my fault.", it's time to stop the denial. In most cases the abuse will continue to get worse and even lead to physical abuse so it's best to see a counselor if both partners are willing to recognize the abuse and move forward in the relationship without it. People who are abusive need an outside source of help becoming non abusive. Any thing said or done which breaks down another's sense of self worth is emotional abuse and cannot be accepted.

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