by Mario Carini

Created on: October 24, 2009   Last Updated: March 22, 2011

For some happiness means complete financial independence. Others define happiness as finding that perfect mate. Others would tell you they can't be happy unless they've got power and influence in political circles. Whatever you define as happiness, you're likely making the same mistake as millions of others.

Happiness is not something you want or can hold in your hands. Big lottery winners discover that winning the jackpot only adds to further problems. Those who struggle throughout life to finally get what they want often feel empty and unfulfilled. The happy trip to the altar ends in misery in the divorce courts.

The problem is that many people base their happiness on external things. More wealth, more possessions, more power or more sex provides temporary happiness. Real happiness starts from within. It's the internal frame of mind that defines happiness. You can be happy or miserable no matter how poor or wealthy you are.

So how can you define happiness and how can you become happy?

Tip #1: Happiness starts today. People are forever projecting happiness on the accomplishment of some future event. When that doesn't happen, they feel depressed and angry. A fast growing program started by Jon Kabat-Zinn called Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) demonstrates that living for today only can help heal as well as bring happiness. Imagine how you would feel if you didn't have to worry about your problems. That doesn't mean you should ignore them. But just taking this present moment, being thankful for every breath you take is all you really need to get happy.

Tip #2: True happiness requires a giving nature. We are all at heart, selfish. We're more concerned about our welfare than our neighbors or what happens to Haitians and Japanese after a major earthquake. Happiness comes from doing something special for someone and not expecting a payment or reward. You find more happiness when you volunteer your time and effort for a worthy cause. No matter how you demonstrate generosity, you feel good about yourself.

Tip #3: Happiness requires time for reflection. Many people find they can't slow down. They seem unable to stop and reflect on the meaning of life and where they are headed.  Worry, fear and doubt stifle happiness. Those who are happiest find the time to be with their families and friends to enjoy companionship and love.

Tip #4: Happiness can exist anywhere. In today's troubled economy more people feel depressed and frustrated. They focus so much on

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