by christina christou

Created on: October 24, 2009   Last Updated: October 26, 2009

My beloved mum died four years ago. I often ask before I go to sleep for her to meet me in my dreams. I have an image of a bench in a beautiful garden with unusual flowers of colours so vibrant and sweet smelling that I can actually smell them. Sometimes mum is a young woman all shiny and bright and sometimes she is just energy.

I feel her most times than see her, I feel her giving me a hug and it feels so special that I don't want the dream to end. There have been times when I have asked for a visitation and nothing happens. I do feel sad and despondent, but then I tell myself that she probably had things to do. I like to think my mum is busy helping others in need. She so loved being a helpful soul.

In the early days of mourning, I hardly saw my mum in my dreams. It frustrated me so much that I felt that she had gone for ever. I read books on the after life and even went to mediums and clairvoyants to receive some communication from her. Sometimes she would come through with a stronger more pushy soul. She was never obtrusive in her life so why would she be any different in the other life.

There have been times when I have seen mum in dreams where she does not seem happy. It is as if she is trying to say something to me, but I don't feel that she is angry with me, more concerned. There have been other dreams where we are just hanging out as we usually did, and it feels so real that I wake up and forget that she is no longer here.

There is no wrong or right way to ask for your departed loved one to visit you in your dreams. Be patient and accepting, that they will visit you when they are ready. If it helps just picture their face before you fall asleep. I like to picture my mum's lopsided, smiley face with her shiney eyes and high cheek bones. It brings me comfort and I feel that she is with me.

I find that speaking to her when I am alone either out loud or in a letter helps me stay connected to her. I do feel unbearable pain and heart ache sometimes when I really miss her presence and haven't seen her in a dream for a while, but this is how it is and if it means I can still stay connected to her like this then so be it.

Love never dies even if the body does!

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