by Teresa Weimer

Created on: October 23, 2009   Last Updated: October 26, 2009

When it comes to suicide, I much prefer to take a philosophical approach to the subject rather than offering a straight forward opinion. It is impossible to answer the question of right or wrong when it comes to suicide with any objectivity what so ever. In addition it is impossible to answer it without being judgmental and perhaps even a little self righteous in our view point. The value of the answer only has relevance to the person who holds it. We are neither Gods nor saints, therefore, who are we to judge the path or pain of another with an arrogant value of right or wrong? When I read the staunch remarks and opinions of those denouncing suicide with great conviction as a selfish act, I can only respond with "Well, of course it is!"

Our journeys are about self not family or community. We are held accountable to God and self, no one else. Our personal accountability to everyone else is completely secondary. Even twins are separate beings with separate souls. One's internal journey isn't shared just as we die alone no matter who might happen to be standing next to us. People don't share pain nor do we share feelings since it is physically and emotionally impossible. We can share similar experiences the same way we can sympathize and understand, but we never feel the sting of bee in another's arm.

What is truly selfish in my eyes is when a loved one expects someone in severe pain or crisis to continue to endure strictly for their benefit at their behest because they don't want to live without them. Now I ask you, who is really being selfish? Isn't it common for us to pray for the quick and painless ending of our elderly nearing death? Why does the timing of one's death have more bearing than the amount of pain they are in? Time doesn't diminish suffering based strictly on the number of years a person can physically continue to exist. Perhaps the younger person is in far greater pain yet we fault them because their minds and emotions have failed them before their bodies.

Perhaps when we pray for quick passing of our elderly, we are really just praying for our own peace of mind. Suffering is suffering at any age, so who are we to judge who is suffering more or what timing is appropriate? I am mystified by the contradictions in human expectation and our ability to justify the way we think when it benefits us in some selfish way. The living are far more selfish than the dying and we prove that routinely in our selfish expectations of others rather than the selflessness of ourselves.

It is more likely that the people left behind are absorbed in their own selfish expectation expecting the tortured soul of their loved one to remain in order to keep them happy. In turn they call the act of suicide selfish. How can we reasonably ask or expect someone to continue living so that we can be happy while they are in pain? Again, who is being more selfish? We expect them to find a way to fix themselves even when we can't offer them a cure or any type of salvation outside of our continued happiness.

I find this subject much too complex to be supported by general statements especially when I'm not suffering from inner demons making me consider taking my own life. instead, I'd rather just send my prayers and many thanks for that. Suicide is selfish... no doubt, but is it our right to judge? How is our judgment not equally selfish since it is based entirely on our own opinion? Religion may say it's wrong to take your own life, but it also says it's wrong to judge, so who is right or wrong is this case?

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