by Robert P. Herbst

Created on: February 13, 2007   Last Updated: April 10, 2007

Humor: Rubber Snake

What with crude oil becoming more difficult and expensive to obtain, an alternate source of petroleum products needs to be found. To this end the Mount Perry Think Tank was repopulated with experts in the field of alternate sources of petroleum products. Among them were our prime source of information on genetic engineering, Prof. Gene Splicer and the world renowned expert on automotive tires, Prof. R. E. Tread.

Together these two experts represented the worlds pool of scientific knowledge on both genetics and automotive tires. The stage was set for a rapid advancement in the world of alternative rubber sources. One of the most promising sources turned out to be one of the simplest. Prof. Tread showed up one day with one of those rubber snakes you can buy in any novelty store.
He proposed, Prof. Splicer find a way to genetically alter a live snake with genes from the rubber snake. This was not considered impossible because true rubber is an organic item made from the sap of the Rubber Tree. Difficult, but not impossible.
The two geniuses immediately secreted themselves in Prof. Splicers secret underground laboratory deep in the swamps around Mount Perry to pursue their project. Several months passed before the two experts emerged from their seclusion and announced to the world they had a solution to the petroleum crisis.
Working together they had developed a species of snake that stretched like rubber. It was kind of a natural evolutionary change The snake does stretch like rubber when it eats. It is able to swallow things many times larger than their head. All that really needed to be done was to improve on the stretching ability until the snake could be expanded or inflated from end to end.
With the snake now developed, they could be trained to wrap themselves around an automobile wheel and bite their own tail. As the snakes are not only poisonous but also constrictors, this is not beyond the realm of possibility. The snake could then be inflated to the proper pressure and used like any other automobile tire.
Naturally, wear on the snake had to be considered so the snakes are to be sold in sets of eight with one extra to carry as a spare. The first set of four snakes are to be used for four to six months depending on how much driving you do.
When the snakes scales begin to look worn, one need only deflate the snake and offer it food. The snake would then release it's tail and slither off the wheel toward the food. One would not even need

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