by Jessica Puzzi

Created on: October 23, 2009   Last Updated: October 25, 2009

Living together has been made into such a huge step in a relationship that I feel that it has placed a stigma on the entire idea as a whole. I believe there are three things you must have before you decide that living together with your partner is a good option.

1. A discussion regarding money (this often times is a sensitive topic for people to have, however the reality that you will now be sharing your finances needs to be concrete and understood.) Budgets are an important part of living together as you will now shar things like a refridgerator (food costs $$), TV, water, etc. MY suggestions would be to turn this "hot topic" into a normal everyday conversation. Money is really not that serious unless it is made to be.

2. Friendship- If you have been dating for 1 month, 1 year or 10 years the base of all relationships is friendship. There are going to be many little things that come out when living in close quarters that you didn't know the other person was even capable of doing (ie. passing gas, going to the bathroom, wearing granny pantie's, etc) These are the best parts of knowing someone that closely. If you don't feel strong enough to handle these kinds of things then there is no friendship and in essence no future.

3. Do Not make your home your cage-having separate lives outside each other is the healthiest way for you to survive this transition. You will begin to feel on top of each other and you will begin to feel bored. This leads to fighting which leads to much worse. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder"- don't always be home, don't always be available. Let your place be his/her place for a night without you.

I have been living with my boyfriend now for about 10 years.This has made our relationship such a stronger, more valuable bond being able to learn all the little "not so sexy" things about each other. Above all it has brought us to a place where we have become the very best of friends. We both remain true to our own sense of self and are not able to function without it.. There are plenty of times when he would like to have the boys over for some game event and asks me if I mind stepping out and vise versa. These are things that you should be okay with doing as a couple. It will make the living situation more enjoyable and it will make it feel like both of you have homes separately and together.

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