by Blair Worthington

Created on: October 23, 2009   Last Updated: September 13, 2011

Even though divorce statistics portray a different picture, nobody steps up to the marriage altar thinking that their union has a 40 - 50% chance of survival. Though many marriages do split up, it is worth noting that a first marriage has the greatest chance of lasting. Couples often don’t realize this. They may easily become dissatisfied and feel that the grass may be greener in other pastures. The couple may not realize that the original pasture could be healthy and vibrant, if only it was tended to. So, how can a couple nurture their “marital pasture” to avoid becoming another statistic of divorce?

Keep a Realistic View of Your Commitment

Remember the vows of “for better” and “for worse”? Many people enter into marriage thinking that they will say “I do” and live happily ever after. Unfortunately, this is rarely the case.  It is necessary to remember that at times you will not be happy in your marriage. At times in your marriage you may feel bored, disgusted, uneasy, unhappy and even sexually unfulfilled. This is because the path of life will bring forth many types of unforeseen hardships. These hardships would fall under the “for worse” category.

But let's not forget about the “for better” category. Your marriage commitment will also bring happiness and pleasure over the years. Not every moment will be thrilling, but similarly, not every moment will be miserable. Your commitment to stay together (in good times and bad), may be the biggest difference between your relationship lasting for a lifetime, and the myriad of divorced couples out there.

Be Willing to Forgive

It is important to realize that people are bound to make mistakes. We must learn to forgive in our relationships, and choose our battles wisely. Is it worth an ensuing argument because the cap is left off of the toothpaste? Being overcritical of your partner can destroy the marital pasture quicker than a John Deere plow. These are the types of issues that can build resentment over time. If you have been hurt, remember to forgive. This is not to say that you should not insist on improvements or that you should overlook serious problems. Acknowledge your pain and communicate your concerns with your spouse. Try to work on your problems with earnest effort, and be willing to forgive so that bitterness does not take over your heart.

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