by Dawn Hawkins

Created on: October 23, 2009

Teenagers are young adults who will soon learn to live life on their own terms. Much to the chagrin of many parents, that means letting go. Giving teens more freedom isn't the easiest thing to do. Teen years are the years that we want to keep them locked up more than ever. There are far too many evils in the world to trust a teen to make the right decisions while out in it, right? Wrong! You must give your teenager more freedom at some point. It's knowing when that is the hardest part.

Here are some suggestions on when you should extend more freedoms to teens:

Maturity Level

It depends on the maturity level of the teen as to when you should extend more freedoms. If your teen isn't mature enough to decide what clothes to put on for school, he/she probably isn't ready for harder decisions such as when to say no. You still have to give freedoms to your teens, but it's at what level they are ready for those freedoms.

Trustworthiness

If your teen has shown you that he/she is trustworthy, it is in everyone's best interest to extend him/her more freedoms. If you constantly say no to your teen even though they have done nothing to deserve a no, you say you don't trust your teen. Your teen will eventually decide that he/she won't ever be granted any freedoms no matter what they do. In this case, you set yourself up for a rebellious teenager.

Little by Little

The easiest way to extend more freedom to your teen is to allow it to happen little by little. It is happening that way anyway. This is just one way that you can have control over the situation. Give a little more time out in the evening as time passes. Let your teen have a say in what he/she does as long as it's not harmful. Letting go little by little sure beats all at once.

When Requested

If your teen comes to you and says that he/she feels it is time for you to extend a little more freedom to him/her, give it a try. If the argument is strong enough in your teens favor, you will find it hard to say no. This is a good test run to see how well your teen does in his/her own decision making.

Extending more freedoms to your teens is a process that will happen with or without your consent. It is a time for teens to learn how to handle themselves in the real world which is approaching them very quickly. Don't hold on too tightly. That is the most certain way that you will lose them much faster.

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