by Mary Beth

Created on: October 23, 2009

There have been times that I have felt insignificant. The questions come: "Why in the world am I doing this?", "What good is my opinion?" "How can I ever make it happen?". I laugh when I think about my childhood-farm-days. I really felt insignificant when Pa was taking some pigs to market. How I dreaded those times. Here I was...a barely 5 foot teenage girl being asked to "watch that hole!" Pa would have the trailer for the pigs backed up just as tightly as he could against the barn door, but there would almost always be some sort of hole that maybe the pigs could escape from. Little me was to carry a big stick and deter the beasts. I think those pigs knew their destiny. I think they saw "little" me and their path for freedom. In most cases I was the one yelled at. It wasn't the pigs.

I've long since forgiven my father for yelling at me. The pigs have been long gone, thank goodness, but the feelings of insignificance do come around to haunt me and I have to fight back. I have learned to carry a bigger stick. I've learned that I am created by God and that He loves me just the way I am. He also has a plan for my life and He molds me and makes me into what He wants me to be. The things that happen-like the pig pen problem- have been put into my life to make me stronger.

Sometimes I feel insignificant when I look at the masses. There are people striving to be the best everywhere I look. Here at Helium is just one example. Think about the vast number of titles! I am just a speck in the middle of them. One the opposite side, there are so many more people that are sad and depressed and hopeless and you wonder what in the world you can do to help even one of them. There it is again. Insignificance. Enough! I catch myself having "poor me" episodes and the feeling that nothing I do can be of any help to anyone. It is a deceitful lie of Satan.

When God is put into my life, all is in His control-even when I don't necessarily feel it at the time. I know He sees the end from the beginning and I have to trust Him for the outcome. The focus is not on me anymore. The focus is on what God can do with what I have. I sure like my "bigger stick". Some may call it a crutch, but little do they know. I call it power. "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" - Phillipians 4:19. It sure whacks "the feelings of insignificance" in the seat of the pants.

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