by Carol Gioia

Created on: October 23, 2009

The true definition of a family far surpasses the restricted one-line description in the dictionary. Theoretically, a family is defined as a mother, a father, children and extended relatives. In reality, family is so much more than a group of individuals with biological and genetics ties.

Adequately defining family requires moving beyond concrete definitions and delving into abstracts. Just saying the word family, conjures up nostalgic feelings of warmth, love, comfort and acceptance.

My goal in this article is to describe various family structures, and by doing so, to allow the word and concept "family," to define itself.

* Family by chance

"You and me, and baby makes three. Together we are a family." Biological families are created by chance. We do not get to choose what family we are born into. Most often, the family created by chance is cohesive, congenial and rampant with unconditional love and loyalty. Sometimes, unfortunately, this is not the case. Some families clash in values and personality. Thus, the famous quote, "You can choose your friends, but not your relatives."

* Family by choice

Some families are structured due to life choices and circumstance. This includes blended families, single-parent families and families with two parents of the same gender. Life situations, such as divorce, death and remarriage can create unique families, with grandparents assuming the parental role or extended families composed of numerous grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins and step and half siblings.

Whatever the configuration, if the members are supportive and accepting of one another, they are a family in the true sense of the word.

* Family by design

When a man and woman marry they are a "couple." Transforming into family means adding children to the mix. Sometimes, due to medical concerns or fertility issues, having biological children is out of the question. That is when the adoption option creates a family by design. The commitment to one another might potentially be extraordinary in adoptive families, due to the effort and sacrifice inherent in their creation.

* Family by circumstance

Human beings are social creatures. They are not emotionally conditioned to living alone. Often individuals who do not have families will gather together under one roof, in a nurturing spirit.. They have a common goal to give and receive love, acceptance and support from one another. They create their own special family.

However a family comes into being, they all have common attributes; love and affection for one another and a desire to create a shelter called "home." Home is synonymous with family. When a person says he is going home, it is generally understood that he is going to be with his family.

Family, at its best, is unconditional love, acceptance, mutual respect, encouragement, approval, warmth and affection.

"Family can be life's greatest blessing." (anonymous)

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