by Dawn Hawkins

Created on: October 23, 2009

You thought you were in a monogamous relationship but you recently found out that isn't true. It is difficult to find out that your significant other has been cheating on you. It makes you feel dirty and cheap. It also makes you feel as though the entire relationship was nothing but a lie. In fact, it punishes the person who was cheated on more than it does the person who cheated. There are things you can do to help get you through the thought of him/her cheating on you.

Here are some steps to take if you have found out that your significant other has been cheating on you:

Know that it isn't your fault- There are a million reasons that someone could give you for cheating. The thing you have to remember is that you didn't do anything that would warrant someone to cheat on you. It is the person who did it that is at fault one hundred percent. If there were problems in the relationship, the partner should have talked to you about it and tried to work it out. There is no excuse for cheating that would put the blame on the person who was cheated on. If the other partner felt that strongly about it, he/she should have gotten out of the relationship before cheating began.

Calm down first- Before you take any action, take some time to calm down before reacting. You may do things that you regret if you react without thinking it completely through. You don't need to go hunt down your partner and the person he/she is cheating with. It doesn't matter who he was cheating with or even why. It only matters that he/she cheated. Come to grips with that. Don't seek out the other person and begin a battle with him/her. Wait for your significant other to come home and discuss it with him/her.

Discussion- The biggest thing that will be on your mind is "why?" That is the first thing you need to ask too. If you don't know why, there are no further steps that you can take. Depending on the answer you get from your significant other, you will have to come to a decision as what to do next. There may be other factors involved as well. For instance, everything changes when you have children to consider.

Decision- The time has come for you to make a decision about what you want to do. You can either fight for the relationship or you can move on from it. Both decisions have their own implications. If you fight for the relationship, there will be trust issues to consider. If you decide to leave, it's always much harder than we think to walk away. Both roads are hard roads to travel.

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