by Simon Richelieu

Created on: October 23, 2009

The rewards of owning a pet depend very much on the pet, and for any reader who is not a French speaker, don't even think of calling your lover in France: "mon/ma pet." This pet does not smell.

As they say: "It all depends..." personally I would rather own a Labrador than a stick insect. It has been said that you own a dog, whereas a cat owns you, but that is an over-simplification. Cats simply show their affection in a less obvious way: rubbing up against your leg is, in human terms, a friendly handshake whereas the greeting from a dog is a Falstaffian "Hail fellow well-met" with saliva thrown in.

My personal experience of pets has been reasonably wide although it does not extend to exotica such as boa-constrictors and crocodiles. Family pet members have been: rats, hamsters, gerbils, cats, dogs, and the much loved "Killer" who, let it be whispered, was probably the only chicken in Hong Kong to survive the Chinese government's cull at the time of a bird flu epidemic. I wonder how many pet pigs were hidden away recently in Egypt.

Tina is a bent Labrador, her tail being far from perfect, and I acquired her at a knockdown price, but she is highly intelligent and perhaps her way of showing me that there is no such thing as a free lunch was to cause damage to the interior of my car costing more than I saved. A stick insect is unlikely to eat the seat belts in your car, and tear up the lining of the rear interior.

My first dog, as an adult owner, was an English Setter and more than thirty years earlier he did much the same damage as Tina. A friend's Springer Spaniel, in Australia, ate steering wheel, gear lever and much of the interior of the car within the space of a few minutes. Perhaps car interiors are a particular weakness of gun-dogs.

So, to justify their place as part of the family and to avoid a one-way trip to the vet, dogs often have to make a big effort to add value: they must do more than simply act as footballs when the breadwinner has had a bad day at the office or the homemaker has been goosed by the milkman.

Pets as part of a family do bring rewards, and perform an important function, after all it is much better, though not recommended, to kick the dog or cat than a child, but they really come into their own when one is on one's own, perhaps after divorce or bereavement as is increasingly the case today.

In my own case I was joined by Tina not long after my divorce. I am not being slushy or sentimental when I assert that Tina understands

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