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Stay-at-home moms are at a disadvantage when it comes to recognition. They've probably never got all that they truly deserve but can feel even worse about it today as we've come to view so much of life in values borrowed from the workplace.

One of the biggest obstacles stay-home parents face is that, unlike paid workers, there are no systems in place for recognizing what they do. Employees have performance reviews, customer feedback forms, bonuses and promotions to reflect how they're doing. But most of all, there are people around who actually see them at work.

In an average day, a stay-home mom might come into contact with a dozen people - other parents, children, shopkeepers, teachers, elderly relatives and the like. But few witness everything she does in the way that bosses and team-mates are aware of a worker's routines. Only the stay-home mother herself has the full picture.

Another disadvantage a stay-home mom faces is the fact that much of her work is done to keep things running smoothly so the better she is at it, the less people will have to think about. Dinners and clean clothes magically appear, dust evaporates, library books return themselves. It can be especially hard for children to grasp that effort goes into making these things happen because they've never known it to be any other way.

One role that is frequently undervalued is the part stay-home mothers play in the extended family and greater community. Non-working family members are usually the ones who keep up family contacts and correspondences, organize special celebrations or visit the sick. They can be more acutely aware of what's going on in the house, neighbourhood, school, church or community and often serve as the family's main link to the outside world. Many also take an active part in charitable work and activities to better their communities.

Stay-at-home parents are sometimes made to feel guilty by stressed workers who see their grass as greener. What they don't see is that she must constantly organize her own time and manage her own targets. Her duties aren't confined by set hours, she has no job description and only the occasional compliment for feedback. Add to this is the fact that so much of her work involves keeping things on track behind the scenes and there may be some truth in the saying that the only time a family can appreciate everything a stay-at-home mom does is if she ever stops doing it.

Learn more about this author, Adele Gregory.
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