by Karla Perry

Created on: October 22, 2009   Last Updated: October 28, 2009

Pessimism permeates the state of matrimony in American society. Sadly it is common knowledge that the divorce rate in America typically hovers around fifty percent. According to a report issued by the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University, 63% of children are not raised by both biological parents. With statistics like these, people are desperate to find ways to beat the statistics and make their marriage work.

There are simple ways a couple can safeguard their marriage against divorce. These ways can help the strongest or weakest of marriages. It is never too soon to implement methods of strengthening one's marriage. It is best not to wait till struggle finds you, but go on the defensive to keep it at bay.

First couples need to get the notion of escaping the difficulties of marriage via divorce out of their thinking. If both agree divorce will not be an option for their marriage, then they are more likely not to entertain and employ such thoughts. According to the National Center for Health Statistics of 2002, 15% of second marriages end in divorce after three years and 25% after five years. There is simply little hope in a second marriage and it is always best for the whole family to work through the difficulties together than to endure them again with a new spouse.

Secondly marriage is not designed to be sustained in isolation. Couples need the support and community of other couples and mentors to maintain vitality in their marriages. Surround yourself with friends who will support your marriage. If your friends are quick to side with you against your spouse instead of in support of your relationship as a couple, they are not the ones who will help you stay married. Married couples need to spend time with mature married couples who are deeply committed to their marriages and to supporting their friends in theirs. Keeping such friends around will keep a relational force field surrounding your marriage so when you run to your friends with problems they point you to answers that keep you married rather than helping you toward divorce.

Thirdly good communication skills are a must. Husbands and Wives need to learn to talk about the things that are bothering them before they explode into arguing about them. It is so much easier to have a rational productive conversation about a problem area before emotions get so intertwined communication is lost. Asking those supportive friends to mediate when emotions are flaring can help diffuse and resolve the problem.

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