No one ever said Marriage was easy. If it was, then perhaps there would be a lot less divorces. According to DivorceLink.org the percentages for couples who are married for the first time, 41% of them ended in divorce. Those who married for the second time, 60% of those couples ended in divorce. The couples that decide to marry for a third time? The rate of divorce was 73%. Those couples with children only had a slightly lower rate then those who did not have children.
Every marriage hits a bumpy road. The important thing to consider is whether or not you love your partner unconditionally and are willing to communicate, change and compromise.. Change will not happen overnight. It will take an open mind, patience, and effort from both parties.
There are steps you can take for your marriage to avoid divorce. First, you and your partner need to identify the problems. Finances, careers, and day to day life can take its toll on us. Sometimes small things get buried inside and turn into large things. Talk to your partner and get everything out in the open.
While you are talking about the things that are bothering you, or perhaps your partner is the one talking, be sure to share feelings. Keeping these feelings bottled up on the inside only cause anger and resentment. Be honest. It can be detrimental to the relationship if both parties do not remain honest. If you or your partner is unwilling to open up with each other, perhaps counseling is what this marriage needs to avoid divorce. Carrying around unresolved baggage can be hurtful to both parties.
When speaking to your partner, be sure to use a low voice. It is easy to lose control in discussions, especially where feelings are concerned. If your partner begins to yell or use a louder voice, instead of being loud back, lower your voice. This keeps things in control and both parties can listen attentively.
How about writing a note? Sometimes a small gesture of love and gratitude can put a marriage on the right track, especially if one partner is feeling a bit unloved. Writing a note to your loved one helps you to get it out without being effected by your own emotions. Writing a note can provide a great release.
Seek out self-help books. Bookshelves are lines with them. Read reviews and find a couple that fit your situation. They are a helpful tool to get a marriage back on track and avoid divorce.
Another tip for avoiding divorce, take some time to get away. Stepping outside the box, breaking the chains of the normal routine of the household, career, and general life can put the relationship back into perspective. Plan a weekend getaway at a five star hotel. Enjoy a nice dinner, perhaps a glass of wine. Enjoy each others company, pay attention to each other, and remember why you fell in love. Often, a weekend adventure is just what a couple needs to rekindle the relationship.
If taking these simple steps has made no resolutions in the relationship, seek out counseling. Marriage counselors are trained to deal with relationship troubles. Many find it easier to speak to a third party that does not sway with one partner or the other as friends or family would do. The marriage counselor will speak to you together and then separately to get a good feel of the situation. Both parties can voice the concerns to this unbiased person, whose only goal is to save and strengthen your marriage. They will work with you and your partner by communicating goals. They will then give you exercises to work on such as playing games, writing, drawing, and role playing. All designed to make you work together. It is also intended to equip you with the necessary tools to make the relationship work. The strategies a marriage counselor would suggest are going to be different from marriage to marriage. Your counselor will base these strategies, goals and exercises based on your personal situation.
Everyone goes through hard times. Hard times can become easier times when parties admit the problems and get the help they need. What works for someone else may not work for you but you won't know unless you try.