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As a karate instructor, I've taught many students over the years. Parents expect children in our karate class to show discipline and for us to do it in a positive way. The time-out is an effective discipline strategy that fits perfectly within these parent's expectations.

The time-out has three main purposes. First, the time-out extinguishes poor behavior in the child. Second, it teaches children discipline and emotional control. Finally, it provides you, the parent, with a well needed break to compose yourself.

Time-out becomes extremely effective in combination with other discipline and positive reinforcement strategies. But, the time-out effectiveness diminishes tremendously if not performed correctly. To perform the time-out correctly requires some restraint and emotional control by the parents ~ that's why it's so difficult to do.

Three rules will help you perform time-out effectively, efficiently, and constructively.
* Maintain a calm, assertive attitude Keep in mind that the time-out is a teaching opportunity and your attitude influences your child's attitude. If you're calm, your child will respond more calmly. Speak in a quieter tone, use body language, and remember silence is a powerful ally.
* Call the area a time-out or cool down area Calling the area a naughty chair like the Supernanny is unproductive. If your child starts associating themselves as a naughty child, you will see bigger problems in your future. Cool down best describes the purpose of getting the child in a calm, submissive mindset.
* Avoid lecturing Lecturing and over explaining give the children a chance to argue their case like a lawyer in court causing you to lose your cool. Instead, we want to lead the child through providing options and establishing boundaries and expectations to avoid any power struggles

The time-out has three steps to make it effective.
1) Providing Limited Options This is basically providing a choice between two option phrased as a question with consequences attached. For example, Tommy, do you want to keep your hands to yourself or go to the time-out? When they answer, Keep their hands to themselves. You reply, Okay, but if you do it again, you will need to go to the time-out area. This step leads the child towards good behavior and clearly establishes your expectations. It also preframes your child for the time-out if the poor behavior continues.

2) The Time-Out If the child tests the boundaries again, they are sent to the time-out area. The step is best done acting like they decided to go to the time-out area by doing the behavior again. For example, using almost a nonchalant tone say, Oh Tommy, it looks like you couldn't keep you hands to yourself, so you will need to sit in the time-out area. The amount of time for the time-out equals about 1 minute for each year in age. This is only a guideline. I look more for the child to maintain a calm, submissive state of mind.

3) The Release Once you release your child, you use another question to reaffirm their commitment towards better behavior. For example, Tommy, are you ready to join us without touching your brother? After releasing them, you should catch them doing something good and give them praise. The five minutes after the release is the best time for praise because they will be on their best behavior. The praise is used to push them towards more positive behavior.

I've used this three step procedure effectively with children for years. In return, I get fun, well disciplined classes that amazes parents that I can control so many children.

Learn more about this author, Tim Rosanelli.
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