by Jade Fitzgerald

Created on: October 22, 2009

You have suspicions that your partner is cheating but you can't confront them without any evidence. How do you go about obtaining that proof? Firstly, look out for the signs.

Signs can include leaving the room when their phone rings, taking their phone everywhere they go (including the toilet), staying out later than usual, cancelling on you at the last minute and a lack of interest in you or your future. But confronting them with these paranoid suspicions is likely to get you no-where. Your partner will simply dismiss you with the "You're paranoid" talk. You need more proof.

If you live together then it should be easier to tell if they are cheating as you will know when they are out. If they start going out more than usual ring them when they are out. Pretend you need to ask them something such as dinner or weekend arrangements or you can't find something and you want to know if they know where it is. If they sound shifty and try to hurry you or don't answer at all then it's not a good sign. If this happens on multiple occasions then they are definitely hiding something.

If you do not live together then ring their home phone (if you ring a mobile they could lie about where they are). If they are always there when you ring then they're probably not hiding anything but if they continue to not answer, especially late at night then you can question them about their whereabouts. If you live close by stop by their house randomly, see if they are happy surprised or worried surprised to see you. You could also watch their house for a while; see if they leave with anyone or if anyone visits.

Another way to catch them is to look through their phone. If they are cheating they will obviously be possessive of their phone so you have to be careful. One idea is to show them a really cool game you've got on your phone, let them play it for a minute or two then reach for their phone saying What games have you got?' If they stop you taking their phone they are probably guilty. Even if they have deleted all the evidence they will still flinch or be nervous if you've got their phone just in case a message comes through or they've forgotten to delete something.

If you manage to look through their phone look at the call list. Have they been phoning/receiving calls from a particular person often? Do you know who this person is? They could have saved a number under a fake name. Ring the number from your phone (make sure you withhold your number). If a person of the opposite sex to what you were expecting answers then you know your partner is lying.

Try to access their facebook or MySpace pages as well as their email. If you've been with your partner a while you should know their password. If your partner has changed their passwords then this in itself is suspicious.

When you do manage to get into their emails check the deleted messages, this is the place you are most likely to find any evidence (should there be any).

If all else fails you could try the good old fashioned method hire a private detective. However, this can be very costly especially if the results show your partner is actually innocent.

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