by Carmel Brulez

Created on: October 22, 2009

The two most important people in your life are usually your man and your best friend. You obviously value the relationships you have with your partner and your friends and need to keep them happy to keep them.

You do that by treating them as individual relationships. Whatever your relationship is like with your spouse, where you probably have ups and downs, good times and bad, you keep that separate from your friends. Of course you might sometimes tell your very close friends about how things are, especially if you have had an argument or disagreement and just want to let off steam, but you do not try to get them to solve your problem for you or get involved. The time you spend with your friends is to work on the relationships you have with them. Likewise when you are with your spouse concentrate on your spouse, do not keep on about how one of your friends annoyed you today when she did such and such, or you are looking forward to seeing her tomorrow when you go shopping. By all means mention these things but do not milk the subjects.

Sometimes your man might be jealous of a friend, especially if you spend a lot of time with them. Maybe you both work at the same place. It would also follow that he might be jealous if you have known your friend for a very long time, longer than you have known him, or he knows you talk to your friend about things which you do not divulge to others. He may be concerned that you talk to your friend about your relationship with him. Whether you do or not is, of course, your choice, but it would be a good idea to explain to your spouse that he is the most important person in your life and he is the first person you come to with your news and worries. If he can feel that he is now your very best friend he will not be resentful of other friends you have. You can prove to your man that you put him first not just by the way you talk but by actions. Make him feel like he is the one you prioritise with your time. A good way to do this is to arrange to see your friends when he is at work or busy with his family, friends and hobbies. That leaves more time to spend with him.

The relationship you have with your man should be totally different to the relationship you have with your friends. You should be loving, passionate and romantic with him, whereas you see your friends to chat, laugh and chew the cud. If you find that since your relationship with your man evolved you have less time now to spend with friends this is natural and you can

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