by Andrea Myers

Created on: October 22, 2009

Bipolar is the last diagnosis given to some of the symptoms I've told doctors about that have occurred over the last 10 years. While I had problems making friends in high school, and I definitely had an eating disorder I didnt try to get real help till I started at uni. At that point the doctor just thought I was depressed. I tried zoloft but I just felt sick so after a few days stopped and was fine from then until I had a relationship breakup at the end of that year. That time I just figured it out on my own - I exercised ate super healthy slept well and set goals. This worked fine until uni started again the following year. In my case, my symptoms are almost entirely triggered by the environment change the environment - fix the symptoms. Of course when Im manic I dont want to give any of my activities up and overloading came with it own blessings and curses. Yes, I got nearly all HDs and got into an elite performing arts school but by the end of that year I was also pregnant and unsure who the father was.

Being pregnant is funnily enough one of the best things for my mental health. Ironically its one of the worst for my physical health as I suffer hyperemesis. This isnt just youre run of the mill morning sickness, this is lose 10 kilos, vomit everything including water and enjoy multiple trips in and out of emergency before finally your GP feels sorry enough for you that they let you stay in hospital for a week. Now, besides a giant physical change, this entire period of my life, from the moment the vomiting starting till I stopped breastfeeding had an environmental effect too. While some women are dying to go back to work - I loved being home, I was still studying and reading at home, but I had a routine - dictated by my baby - I was out the path of anyone using alcohol or drugs and I was too zonked not to sleep at night when I had the chance.

Fastforward to just before my daughters 2nd birthday and things change slightly. Or dramatically depending on how you look at it. Not breastfeeding anymore and with my daughter walking I was no longer tied down to the house and had gone back to uni to do some film making. Big Mistake! While it allowed to learn a lot more skills and develop some expression films it was the beginning of a rollercoaster ride.

Being back at uni bought out mania and mixed state where I was depressed and manic at the same time resulting in me cutting for the first time. I missed my daughter immensely, but when Im manic I become convinced

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