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People assume that teens will not be good parents for many reasons. Unfortunately, one of those reasons is the assumption that the teens became parents by being "loose" or "easy" and by neglecting to take responsibility for birth control. This stereotype leads to a belief that teen parents are only having children because they are irresponsible and ignorant. This is no more true for teens that for any unplanned pregnancy, of course.

Then there are the stresses for which teen parents are often not prepared. Having a child changes your entire world and often people have a rosy picture of carrying their bundle of joy with them as they go about their normal daily routines. They forget that babies have their own agendas and that they are far more demanding and vocal about getting their way! Forget school sports and hanging out with the crowd on weekends the baby needs you more than you need a social life.

Then there are financial worries. Who is watching the baby while you're at school? How are you going to pay them? If you get a job, who's watching the baby while you work and can you make enough to justify being gone in the evening and on weekends as well, especially without a high school diploma? What about college or a technical degree, so that you can qualify for a higher-paying job?

Add to that the relationship pressures between both significant others and teens and their parents. Even if the teens get married there is no guarantee that it is a healthy, stable relationship. Imagine being forced to have a relationship for the rest of your life, at least through your child, with the first person you dated. Try getting child support out of a 16-year-old boy who works maybe 12 hours a week at a fast food restaurant. Try convincing your mother that your parenting decisions are not her business when you, your boyfriend or husband, and your child are living in her house.

Now imagine all of those stresses on top of being a new parent. Is it any wonder that teen parents are seen as more likely to be neglectful or abusive than older parents? Such assumptions aren't fair on an individual basis, but statistics do show that poverty, emotional immaturity, a lack of coping skills, social isolation, unplanned pregnancy, and single parenthood are all risk factors for child abuse or neglect.

Naturally, not all teens face these problems or fit the stereotypes. The stigmas that they face only add to the stress with which they deal every day. Reading the stories of teen parents, both here and on the many web sites on which they are posted, will help people to see that teens can be mature, responsible, and excellent parents. The problem is that the minority who are not any of these things are the teens who make the headlines.

Learn more about this author, Mel Bergen.
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