by Madison Briggs

Created on: October 21, 2009

Seemingly out of the blue to you at least, your teen announces he or she has quit the team. Depending on how long your teen as been active in this sport will probably determine the amount of shock of your initial reaction to this news. The next emotion should be centered on your teens reasons not on your feelings. It is very important to let your teen express to you his reasons for walking away from his team, his peers and his coach without fear of you, his parent, berating him for his reasons. If you are or have been a parent of a teenage boy, you already know these reasons will not be cut and dry and presented in a neat little package for your approval. More than likely it will take several days or weeks to discover the real reason for his action.

Our children get involved in sports for several reasons; their friends, their idols and their parents. We want them to have opportunities to be a part of a team. learn how to win, how to lose, sportsmanship and yes we want them to be the star. What begins as an enjoyable sport for many of them after awhile turns into stress, humiliation and mental defeat. Attend a recreational sport, middle school or high school sport and observe the parents in the stands screaming to little Johnny to get that ball or pull up his socks or shoot the ball when Johnny is trying to just play and follow his coach's instructions. If he misses the shot, strikes out, or lets the ball through the goal, not only is he feeling bad he let the team down, he also gets to hear all the parents in the stands tell him how bad he is.

Today, colleges want well rounded applicants and sports teams play a major roll in achieving this. This, however, should not be the reason we as parents force our children to play a sport they are not interested in. As a former recreational coach for basketball and soccer, I have observed first hand parents signing their children up at the age of 11 just for college application reasons. They have also signed them up because they played the sport or something for the parents to do to socialize. I also had one signed up due to his discipline problems so the mother could use the sport as leverage to take it a way if he didn't listen to her. Not every child is sports minded.

So your teen announces he quit his team, be prepared to accept whatever reason he offers in the beginning. Chew on it a few days then approach him again and calmly discuss his options. Did he quit because his coach was a major jerk? Offer to look into

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