by John White

Created on: October 21, 2009

Lost Twilight Zone Episode

(The Insatiable Craving)

Meet Barry Platt, circa now, a mealy mouth believer in the religion of self-gratification. A religion whose god is food. The glorious cuisine satiates Barry's voracious appetite at the exclusion of any and all pleasures available to him in his little world. A world that will soon expand into...the Twilight Zone.

"Welcome to Buddy's-would you like to try our hot wings today?"

Barry poked his head out the open window of his customized Ford Econoline and leaned into the speaker.

"Is this Kara? How are you darlin'?"

"Oh-hello, Barry." The voice on the speaker had changed from the cheerful recorded employee to a quite real, annoyed employee. "The usual bucket of chicken and two large cokes?"

"Oh-now, what kind of attitude is that sweetheart? I sense a feeling of animosity there. Like you're not happy to have me as a customer. Should I speak to your manager, baby? Is that what you want?"

"I'm not your baby and you're holding up the line."

Barry glanced in the rearview mirror at the four cars behind him in the drive thru lane. He smirked and ignored their looks of frustration. "C'mon snookums, spread a little sugar my way. You know you haven't had a man until you had Barry. Where's the love?"

"That will be $14.50-please drive through to the window."

"Wait-wait sweetheart. You mixed up my order. I didn't agree to it yet. Maybe I want something different."

There was a long pause from the plastic chicken speaker. Finally, it crackled. "Yes sir. May I have your order?"

"You may, my little darlin', you may. I would like a bucket of chicken and two large drinks."

One of the cars behind beeped their horn politely, obviously hoping the large man in his van would try to understand he was taking too long. They unfortunately did not know Barry.

"I said that earlier, Barry. A bucket of chicken and two large cokes."

"And you were very close Kara, but I said two large drinks-not cokes. Now-I want one large coke but not two. Guess what the other one is."

"Just tell me."

"Guess."

"Fine-Sprite."

"No."

"Orange soda."

"No."

"Dammit, Barry, I don't care. Just tell me."

"Temper-temper sweetheart. How about root beer."

"Great-Please drive through before I call the cops."

My-she was feisty today. You'd think after taking his order everyday for two straight years, she'd learn a little tolerance. Oh, if he were only ten years younger and 300 pounds lighter, he'd show that sweet Kara a thing or two. She'd be screaming his name all right,

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