by Barbara Kasey Smith

Created on: October 21, 2009   Last Updated: October 22, 2009

Coping with your grown children's spouses...

*How to cope with your grown children's spouses:

It's my opinion the best way to cope with our children's spouse's is to allow them to have their husband and their children without any interference from their spouse's parents. Adults do not need anyone to be meddling and causing problems within their marriage. When a couple is joined together in Holy Matrimony, their parents should back-off and allow their children to hold the reins.

*Parents should not take sides:

Parent should let their children know they do not want to be brought into taking sides about anything pertaining to their marriage. Parents should also tell their children they would appreciate it if they did not talk about their spouse's to them...let them see that you do not want to hear their marriage woes because this only brews trouble between their spouse and them. No wife/husband wants their spouse to be talking to their parents about them behind their backs.

*Parents should not interfere with business and other matters:

Do not discuss any of your financial woes with your parents either because parents have already been down this lane before, and anything they may say or do, their children will more than likely disagree with their opinion...why did you ask the parents anyway? Adult children love to blame parents if the parents have told them something about how to handle their financial woes and what they tell them goes wrong they blame the parents and this causes poor feelings in their relationship.

Do not tell their children's spouse how to raise their children...this can cause major havoc in the family. Do not ever get involved with a husband and wife's dispute...walk out of the room where you cannot hear what's going on. If a husband/wife makes a smart remark to you, your old enough to take care of it yourself...do not be the carrier of the remarks to your husband and other family members...this is a big "no, no." If you do, the parents are going to be in for a cold shoulder for a long time and their spouse will "not" trust their spouse's parents anymore. Parents should not carry grudges against their spouses mates...this is not good for the entire family in the now or in the future.

*Summation:

Parents bite your tongues and keep a happy face with your children's mates or else you'll live in misery for a long time and maybe for ever. It's best for parents to think before they speak and to be kind and caring to their children's spouse's at all times. They cannot ever have a reason to get mad at the parents if they show respect and kindness, never stick their nose into their children's affairs, do not tell their children's spouse how to raise their children, cook, wash, or clean house, how to dress, definitely nothing about their weight, or listen to their son/daughter spouse put down their son/daughter, etc. Keep a cordial relationship and do not get involved with their personal or business affairs. This way you should keep a good relationship with your children's spouse's.

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