by Glen Brizius

Created on: October 21, 2009   Last Updated: November 29, 2009

Premarital sex is a good idea in most cases.

Many in our society consider themselves faithful to a certain moral code passed down from their ancestors, and sometimes wrestle with what they do and what they have been taught to be correct. Sex is a very powerful emotional act, for good or for bad. This article will point out how premarital sex can be used to strengthen a flowering relationship.

It's been scientifically shown that during / after sex, a chemical hormone known as oxytocin is released, acting as a neurotransmitter in the brain. What does this remarkable molecule do?

1) It increases maternal feelings and behavior. (J. Endocrinol. 112 (2): 27582).

2) It increases the feeling of trust, reinforcing that *this* is the person to be with for the rest of your life.

3) It increases the feeling of bonding and attachment to the person with whom you're having relations.

4) It increases feelings of generosity. (J. Endocrinol. 2011, 20(2). 20275-80).

It could be argued that none of these are bad things to have *firmly* in place before committing yourself to marriage. What about a less clinical view of things?

Not many would support premarital sex on a casual, fling-away basis. Sex is *powerful*. As seen above, it quite literally changes the way a person thinks about and acts around the other person. However, if two consenting adults who are not married but:

1) Are firmly in love with each other - true love, not lust or infatuation;

2) Have taken all necessary precautions to avoid a potential surprise months down the road;

3) Realize fully (i.e., not drunk, or otherwise impaired, and not rushed / pushed into the action) what they are doing, and have thought rationally about it, and decide they would like to continue, *who on Earth are we*, as someone outside the situation, to say that this "premarital sex" is bad?

On the more practical side, many would agree that sex is a skill. While humans are probably born with some very basic primal-level instinct of "what to do", in this case - as in many other activities, and this is not being said to be lewd - practice makes perfect. Starting out in a new married life can be difficult enough without being sexually frustrated because a partner has never been with anyone, and has no clue how to please themselves, let alone their new husband / wife. That can break marriages, shatter them like glass. Who wouldn't rather be with someone who, from the very first time, made them feel like the luckiest person on the planet?

Under the right conditions (see above), premarital sex is a wonderful idea.

Learn more about this author, Glen Brizius.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.